Where Rebel At

July 29, 2009

All Posts, News

Some late summer mornings I wake up and I think to myself:

I know what I’m gonna do! I’m gonna go ride across about six or seven hundred miles of desert in August. And then I’m gonna ride across the Rockies. I love hail. Don’t you love hail? Doesn’t everybody? And then I’m gonna ride across some big, old prairie. Maybe, during that part of my journey, I will run into one of them big, old lightening storms. They’re so dramatic and they smell so good. And then I’m gonna ride around and around in circles for about a week looking for a place to park.

And, after I finally find a place to park I know, based on my previous experience at being me, that I am probably never going to pick up a woman at any one of these things. But, also based on my previous experience at being me, I think I have a most excellent chance of picking up some bullshit charge.

Note to self: Bring an extra three hundred bucks.

I don’t really need a new rear tire but maybe I will ride over to Sundance anyway and pick up a new one. Maybe, check out Cheech and Chong at the Buffalo Chip. Gee, I wonder if there will be a Lynyrd Skynyrd tribute band this year? I sure hope I can find somebody willing to sell me a souvenir tee shirt.

Maybe I will even meet some real, live Iron Pigs. Maybe I will say hello to them in that real uppity, smart ass way some people say I have. Based on my previous experience at being me I have noticed that some people seem to think I am a smart ass. Especially the police. Yeah, yeah. I know what you are thinking. I don’t really see it either, personally, but that still seems to be what some people want to make me out to be.  How come when I am quiet nobody ever remembers but when I am a smart ass nobody ever forgets?

Maybe when I say hello to the Iron Pigs they, being in great fear for their lives and acting in self defense, will put a cap or two in my ass. Oh well. Gotta be me.

Maybe I will get injured severely enough to sue somebody! I have always wanted to be able to say, “I’ll pay you back after my suit settles.” Maybe there will even be beer!

If I have to explain it to you, you wouldn’t understand. Okay?

I should be posting again by, oh let’s say, Monday, August 17th. Yeah, I know that Cheech and Chong have the power to drive men insane. And, I know that stupid people like the Iron Pigs don’t get irony. And, I can practically see that Colorado hailstorm from here. But based on my previous experience at being me I have learned that nothing will ever actually kill me. And, I believe I will have enough bail money. And, usually when I go for a ride I come back with at least one new story.

Your pal,

, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

15 Responses to “Where Rebel At”

  1. Ck Says:

    I have the one with the Sturgis bottom rocker.

  2. Rebel Says:

    Dear CK,

    Oh yeah. I know. It was particularly vicious in Deadwood and east of Sturgis. Beat the crap out of cars and bikes and busted windshields. A guy was sitting in his tent at the Monkey Rock campground and hail came through the fabric and knocked him out. The hail was measured at 3.75 inches. I never knew hail could get that big. I was lucky. I got wet and that was it. No damage to the bike or anything. I count on luck. I know some day it will run out but so far so good.

    And yes. Sons of Anarchy, proudly wearing their California bottom rocker. SOA: The official meat of the Black Hills Rally. Sorry about your shirt man. I bought one from the Angels that says “Motorcycle Clubs Are Not Street Gangs.” It seems to be holding up fine. I bought a bunch of tees. Didn’t buy anything from the TV show, though. I made them give me tribute.

    Your Pal,

  3. Ck Says:

    Rebel, the hail was no joke. My dad was racing AHDRA in sturgis. Our truck and trailer looks like somone hit it all over with a ball pin hammer. I feel sorry for anyone riding when it happened. I heard Buffalo Chip had baseball sized hail there.

    I got a shirt from that SOA store. The lettering is already flaking off. Fuckers.

  4. Rebel Says:

    Dear Fatbob–

    There was a phony Sons of Anarchy clubhouse on Main Street in Sturgis. They gave me a bandanna. Now I am trying to crash the set in Tujunga. Stay tuned.

    By the way, if the weather can’t kill me I ain’t going to do the weather’s work for it.

    your pal,

  5. Rebel Says:

    Dear Ck–

    That hail was some bad shit, wasn’t it?

  6. Fatbob Says:

    He’s gone. For good. He couldn’t wait for the season premiere of SOA – it was killing him – so he took his own life. RIP rebel…weep..tear

  7. Ck Says:

    We got pelted by the hail =/

  8. HIck Says:

    Hope you missed the hail but it ought to make for a hell of a story

  9. Doc Jones Says:

    Yeah Buddy!! I’m certain that you’ll have a great trip!! Last summer it was clear sailing all the way there and all the way back. Well, we did have a few sprinkles. I hope your trip will be as easy as ours. PLEASE don’t spit on those Iorn Piggys!! I want you back without any charges to worry about. Can’t wait to hear your story!!

  10. duce09 Says:

    hey rebel so whats the bas eoffense level for conspiracy with no drugs seized,please rebel keep me updated,can I actually get charege for the drugs I talk about on the phone.PLeaase explain to me clearly.If me and you talk bout diffrent quanities at diffrent points and none of use gets caught with what we talk about or we never did anything towards its coplition whats nhappens.PLease Rebel I need your help.

  11. pervert Says:

    Rebel Man,
    See you in Sturgis,
    I will buy you a beer or several if I I find you.
    I’ll be the one wearing a black T shirt, under a black leather vest.


  12. troyez Says:

    Stay away from Kansas in mid/late summer (tornado last time for me)! Buffalo Chip, huh? I used to love that place, but it’s too yuppie nowadays. Have fun Rebel.

  13. Gringo1%er Says:

    happy trails man!! bring back a kick ass story or storys..

  14. DirtyBruin Says:

    Have a great ride, Rebel – there’s not much chance of avoiding the desert baking, but here’s hoping to no hail (I only got rain when I did it last) and no unfortunate entanglements with The Law.

  15. JAMES Says:

    REBEL, you take care and have a safe ride and maybe do some film of the IRON PIGS shooting another unarmed man, or showing their asses as usual,JAMES

Leave a Reply