Angels Top Slow News

January 2, 2020

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Angels Top Slow News

This is always one of the slowest news weeks of the year. In the news business this results in what is called “copy hunger.” The term describes the dilemma that occurs when there isn’t enough filler around which to artistically place the all-important adds. It drives the advertisng deparment nuts. On top of that , at any given time, half the editorial department is drunk.. Why not? There is nothing worth reporting.

That is how the eminent journalists Trevor Boyer and Shant Shahrigian wound up sharing a byline Monday on a story headlined “Quiet Bronx neighborhood bedeviled by new Hells Angels headquarters.” There wasn’t anything worth reporting and the princes of advertising were on the verge of tears. Must have been like that.

The New York charter of the Hells Angels Motorcycle Club occupied a 119-years-old, 11,025 square foot building at 77 E 3rd Street from 1969 until last spring. Mostly their occupation was unremarkable and trouble free as long as you minded your own business and stayed out of their parking spaces.

Gentrification

In the mid-90s, after the federal government tried to steal the building, a neighbor named Jackie Gares, who lived two buildings down from the club, told the New York Times, “I’m glad (the feds lost). I think this is the safest block in New York, and I’s because of them. Because people don’t want to mess with them. People don’t break into cars on this block. If I’m shopping and they’re out, I feel safe.”

But about three years ago, the New York Police Department decided that was too good to last. The neighborhood had become increasingly gentrified. A man named David Martinez was shot as a result of a parking dispute outside the clubhouse. The police insisted the Hells Angels should help them with their investigation. The Angels, who are famous for their good citizenship were eager to do that but unfortunately none of them had any fist hand knowledge of this terrible incident. So the cops went berserk writing tickets. It became obvious the Angels were going to have to move in order to exercise their right to be let alone.

That’s how they wound up in a former American Legion hall at at 241 Longstreet Ave. in the Bronx. And that is how created a full 32 column inch story out of nothing, out of thin air and saved the editorial department from advertising’s wrath. Here’s a little journalism lesson for you.

Righteous Reporting

The lede, reporters spell it like that, was: “Roaring motorcycle engines and late-night carousing have bedeviled the once-quiet Bronx neighborhood where the Hells Angels have just set up their new New York headquarters.” Just like they teach the college kids in jay-school. The very first word was an active verb. And then the reporters enhance interest and establish their angle with: “The infamous motorcycle gang bought a two-story brick building in middle-class Throggs Neck, and a noisy gathering at the headquarters earlier this month disturbed neighbors.”

That is the angle. Oh no! Not a Christmas party!

The actual news in this story is that the Angels, or possibly the Church of the Angels, bought the property in a private transaction for $1.25 million. They moved in. And then just when their new neighbors were hoping for a “quiet weekend” the Angels threw a party.

And Boyer and Shahrigian got 32 inches out of that! Thirty-two inches is a lot.Boyer even took a photo!

One of those YouTube clowns even hijacked their story and stole Boyer’s picture and some generic music and put it up on the net. See video below. Stay informed!

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9 Responses to “Angels Top Slow News”

  1. Erudite Hillbilly Says:

    Now this shooting has occurred, they should get a couple 81 out there with those big-nosed, Groucho glasses lamenting “oy vey, it wuz da goyim!” That’ll really hike up the news value!

  2. commonsense Says:

    To Journeyman. I doubt it was the cops. Cameras are everywhere. But if it was and I had it on video I would give the vid to 81 and let them do with it what they will.

  3. Igo Says:

    Frank: Read something other than Yves Lavigne books for your info….

  4. Journeman Says:

    It is probably a cop (cops) or neighbors who want them out doing the shooting just to add on to the news story and turn the public against them.

  5. Journeyman Says:

    It was probably the cops who fired the shots, or a neighbor who wants them out setting it up.

  6. Kranky Klaus Says:

    Ruh roh. Looks like there was a shooting at the Angel clubhouse last night. Wonder if it’s the Mongols protecting their turf and making sure they look hard for their Californian overlords. Dummies left shell casings all over the place to boot. Brilliant.

  7. Psycho Says:

    Wait a second oldskewl, are you saying that our government lies to us?

  8. oldskewl Says:

    Frank: Ever stop to think stories and headlines that make the news are generally false? Most everything the alphabet agencies throw out for the media is false. You should try reading a bit more here about how they lie, steal and withhold evidence to convict the innocent.

    Happens everyday, and, you just read “the police harassed 81 into moving”.. last time I checked that’s illegal but you failed to mention it so your bias is glaring.

    OS

  9. Frank Says:

    But what do you say about the guy who writes 500 words about a slow news day story?

    Also, “Mostly their occupation was unremarkable and trouble free as long as you minded your own business and stayed out of their parking spaces” is quite a gloss over of the history on the block.
    You do recall that woman who didn’t want to be gang banged was thrown off the roof and killed?

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