Fellow non-conforming motorcycle enthusiasts, our long national nightmare is about to end. Tonight is the conclusion of season three of The Devils Ride.
The last five episodes have been about convincing impressionable teenagers, Rolling Stone reporters and the sorts of people who are too stupid to get out of jury duty that The Devils Ride is a real look inside real motorcycle clubs. Of course, it is not. It is a poorly written, atrociously acted pastiche of cliches and tropes. But, in a series of twitter exchanges with Kurt Sutter, The Aging Rebel, professional iconoclast J.J. Solari, internet radio host Amy Irene White and others, cast members of this reality thing tried futilely to intimidate the program’s detractors.
Sutter And Solari
Sutter wondered “Is Devil’s Ride still on?” He responded to the woofing about how ferocious the Laffing Devils and the Sinister Mob Syndicate are by tweeting, “My thespians are harder than these Bitches. Don’t take my word, ask any OMC in the fucking world.”
Solari, who really should have his own television show, parroted the twitter exchanges Devils Ride actors have been posting all season. “We’re the real thing, bro! Yo! You have no idea! You are talking shit! We know about you! We could tell people some things about you! You better stop talking that shit! We can come down on you hard! You know who you’re talking to?”
Solari continued, “This is the level of the conversation if you have the golden opportunity to critique anyone connected with the show in an interview or confrontation. If you can call having bad dialogue from a high school shoving-match in Watts in 1980 tossed into the air like dirt from a hole a badger is digging a ‘confrontation.’ Ric Flair having a shouting match with a microphone under his nose resulting in the microphone dripping sheets of saliva down onto the floor is more menacing and less comical than listening to a Devils Ride employee insist that the lummoxes in the show are doing and saying things not written down on foolscap by retards from the Home For Twekos And Dorks.”
“Oh yeah? Well FUCK that, bro! You don’t EVEN wanna FUCK with me, bro! That’s BULL-shit!”
“Yeah, ok, ok, calm down, Mr. Ferocity. The last thing I want to do is get YOU riled up, Iron Man 4. Watching The Devils Ride is not only embarrassing, its borderline shameful. UNLESS YOU ARE AN IDIOT.”
In Tonight’s Episode
All season long, the most entertaining thing about this sterling example of postmodern mass media has been the Twitter feeds. Now that is about to end and all we will be left are the reruns.
It tonight’s banal and ludicrous conclusion: “The Laffing Devils just raided Sin Mob’s clubhouse only to find that no was there. As they look for a possible rat within their ranks, tempers boil and new President Mad Max can’t stop his members from fighting amongst themselves. With Sin Mob, Rockem decides to invite the Devils to a showdown in the desert. Despite both clubs having numerous members with serious injuries, they prepare for a battle and bid farewell to their families. Meanwhile, a cohort of bikers allied with one of the most legendary one percenter clubs catches wind of the planned meeting. When the Devils and Sin Mob roll up to the showdown, they find themselves facing an epic decision that could change their lives forever.
Stay classy Devils Ride. Small world. See you all around. Try not to get stabbed.