Desperately Seeking SOA Tattoos

January 23, 2014

All Posts, News

A producer with a show on the Sundance Channel contacted this page yesterday. The show is called The Writers’ Room and the producer hoped I might be able to find him someone with a Sons of Anarchy tattoo.

“We need photos of real people who got real tattoos inspired by the show (with tattoos of the SOA logo or key characters from SOA). And, of course, we need those people comfortable signing ‘materials & appearance releases.’ We can’t just get a photo off Google. We gotta be in touch with the actual person and, or, tattoo artist.”

“Oh, I know they’re out there,” I replied.

“We’d pay the guy with the SOA tattoo, because we’d need his signed releases,” the producer added. “We don’t want them to contact us directly. We don’t want to get swamped. Can you help us out?”

“Sure,” I promised. “I like to make friends. I need friends. I go through the world armed only with my charm, my winning smile and a small revolver.”

The Writers’ Room

According to the show’s promotional materials:

The Writers’ Room is Sundance Channel’s hit talk show celebrating today’s most successful dramas and sitcoms in this the ‘Third Golden Age’ of Television.

“Host Jim Rash, who won the Academy Award for Best Adapted Screenplay for The Descendants and currently stars on NBC’s Community, leads revealing discussions with the showrunners, writers and acting talent of television’s best programs. Each episode of The Writers’ Room is dedicated to a single groundbreaking series. This half hour format allows the audience a never before seen window into the minds behind their favorite shows.”

The show is not, needless to say, Gangland. It’s not even on Discovery.

You Got An SOA Tattoo

If you have a Sons of Anarchy related tattoo including portraits of any character, any SOA indicia or flair or, best of all, a full SOA back piece you picked up in Terminal Island or the Q take a selfie and send it to [email protected] Include your legal name and contact information.

I promise I’ll get your photo to the producer and if he likes it you will get to appear on the show. The producers seem to be reasonable and generous. They just want to accurately portray your love for your favorite television program. You might even score some SOA souvenirs and become famous. Go for it. Swamp me.




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40 Responses to “Desperately Seeking SOA Tattoos”

  1. jj solari Says:

    would they settle for tattoos of fluttering butterflies? pretty much the same thing as what they stated they wanted, actually, from what i have heard about the show. i DO know some gentlemen, come to think of it, with soa tattoos on their lower backs and in stretched-out form just above their buttcracks with coils of trellises festooned with wisteria surrounding the letters. think they would want those?

  2. Twitch Says:

    I would get one but I’m afraid the members of SOA would burn it off me.

  3. JMacK Says:

    Anyone know Buttwiesers email address? He still sending you fan mail Phuqued?

    It’s his time to shine.


  4. Phuquehed Says:

    @JMack – LMFAO!! You beat me to it! And yeah, he’s still whining and carrying on. I’ve averaged 3.3 e-mails a day since January 9th from the asshat. According to him everyone who’s fucked his life up by getting him kicked off Rebel’s site, has bitched out on meeting up with him. I guess I’ve not been telling him correctly enough that his SoA fag orgy parties are going to make him a star. He’ll know it now, since he’s trying to amass every post I’ve made here on Rebel’s site…this post will help him get in touch with this SoA thing surely!

  5. Sieg Says:

    What’s the problem here, can’t you just hook these guys up with directions to the next Iron Panty Nat?!?!?!?


  6. indethinker Says:

    another reason to shoot the TV and go for a ride smhl !

  7. Mike 184 Says:

    Bwahhhhaaaaaa is this for real????? I guess maybe if you want a show to show how lost in TV land people are…

  8. CN Says:

    I nominate ATF Agent Steve Martin. I’ll pay for the Tatt.

  9. Tooj Says:

    Dear Rebel,

    You have mentioned previously that the fluff pays for the journalism. Even given your special connections I must heartily say, “There isn’t enough fucking money in the world to get me to ever permanently etch my body with the garbage that is already etched upon my brain. That which has been seen cannot be unseen.”

    A question: are you restricted from writing a blog entry for every entrant you receive? Perhaps even with pics? Those could be big fluffy entries.

    Regards and still laughing,


  10. Stevo Says:

    Brandon is at the tattooists as we speak.

  11. mad man Says:

    thanks for the chuckle jmack….respects

  12. jj solari Says:

    i have never watched this show but i did watch the clip provided, with the sound off, and advancing it in in fits and starts. it all took 30 seconds. in that time i saw the sons of assinines attack with their feet a cop car while traveling down the road. the cops seemed rattled by this ferociously stupid assault. then i saw some sons of silliness shoot an empty car to teach it a lesson. they held their pistols in the strange two-handed grip suitable for target matches but used also by all television actors when advancing room to room and exposing the widest parts of their bodies to oncoming bullets. i guess if you squeeze the gun hard enough the bullets come out faster. i should mention they were three feet away from the car while taking careful aim and steadying their pistols while – with great anger – killing the empty car. they could have just used the kicking ploy used earlier on the highway to, i think, equal advantage as having shot it to death. assuming the car died. they never checked it for a pulse. it could still be alive and plotting revenge for all anyone knows. i would actually watch that episode. especially if its efforts were successful. which, no doubt, they would be, considering the dopiness of the adversaries.

  13. Freeman Says:

    Looks like this could be ”motorcycle gang expert and documentary personality” steve cook’s page:

  14. Tomo Says:

    @ JJ solari, don’t think I’ve ever commented before on this site, just lurked. But your description of the episode about the car, ending “it could still be alive and plotting revenge..” had me in tears. I imangined Stephen King stumbling across this page, reads your comment and then thinks “Fuck me! That’s my 700th novel: Christine 2: 1958 Plymouth fury vs biker gang.” Think of the possibilities…

  15. WARTHOG Says:

    jj solari Says:

    “i DO know some gentlemen, come to think of it, with soa tattoos on their lower backs and in stretched-out form just above their buttcracks with coils of trellises festooned with wisteria surrounding the letters.”

    You don’t know me and please don’t judge. My pics of Juicy and Tig with my full Sons of Assholes back tattoo, along with the asforementioned tramp stamp, have been sent, Rebel.

    OMG, OMG! I’m going to be famous!





  16. L-Frame S&W Says:

    I don’t watch this asinine show, but I do see pinheads running around with SoA T-shirts sometimes, and wonder if they even ride. I do, but not with any MC.
    I also have a tat, but it’s something that has meaning to me, not some foolish, not quite reality TV show. Why the [email protected] would someone burn SoA onto their body, what serious meaning would it have for them? I happen to enjoy the old Addams family TV show, but I don’t have an image of Gomez inked on me anywhere. Bloody idiots!

  17. slow-n-low Says:

    That’s an awesome Sons of Anarchy shirt…tell me about all the long rides you go on and all the people you kill on a daily basis…

  18. One Eye Says:

    You’ll excuse me while I go jump start my brain. Rebel, please tell us this is a very early April Fools joke.

  19. Magoo Says:

    I have a birthmark that looks like a bug splat from Opie’s bike. At least, that’s what I tell the ladies. Not exactly a tat but does that count?

  20. Mag Says:

    @Freeman – I went and looked at that link. What a bunch of preposterous self-important intellectual masturbation on the site.

    Once in a while you run across dilettantism that can’t be disguised. No matter how frantically the dilettante masturbates, it’s still fruitless.

    “I really AM a gang expert! Really! Really!”

    Desired subtext from dilettante: “Aren’t I admirable? Look at me!”

    I’d take it with about the same depth of validity I’d take a penny stock trader who lives in mom’s basement, advising the public on reverse stock splits and investment strategies for offsetting capital gains. In other words, not.

  21. Glenn S. Says:

    I think I’ve seen every kind of tattoo, from a misspelled name done with india ink and sewing needles to a full back piece of a dominatrix with a strap on to a (four-legged) pig fucking a woman to a rendition of something the overly sheltered might call a war crime. But I have yet to behold the name, “patch”, or characters of that fictitious motorcycle club. I do, however, know of a tattoo of a woman on a wrinkled old man, probably done in his younger years, that now resembles Katey Segal. Is there a finder’s fee?

  22. OC VAGO 1%er Says:

    Unfuckingbelievable! A gang profile on the SOA.

  23. OC VAGO 1%er Says:

    Hey Budweiser, time for you to shine.

  24. Base Says:

    I haven’t seen any ink on anyone as of yet, do see some shirts from time to time. Now the other day I notice my Shepard dropped a deuce that looked like a sculpted reaper. Sort of, depending on what side it was viewed from.

    Wonder if they would like to interview him? Almost certain he could repeat it if feed the right amount of dog chow & bones.

  25. Phuquehed Says:

    LMAO! Budweiser has to crawl out of the pile of guys he invited over to the SoA orgy party first.

  26. FBomb Says:

    I have SOA tattooed on my penis, but when erect it reads:

    Support our cOnstitutional rights americA

  27. Dr. Sardonicus Says:

    My penis only has room for “SOA” when erect. However I do have “SIN” on my left nut and “MOB” on my right nut to compensate.

    My “SOA” actually stands for “Slaps Opinionated Assholes” but the producer doesn’t need to know.

  28. slycechyx Says:

    Anyone stupid enough to get an SOA tattoo deserves to be shot.

  29. Cap'n Bill Says:

    @ JJ You’ve still got it, pal!

    As for the tattoo thing, well, I’m sure they’re already out there. Too weird…

  30. Freeman Says:

    @ OC VAGO, Mag

    I know when i read it, i was shaking my head, laughing, all the while muttering wtf?

  31. Bruka Says:

    @Freeman – that website is hilarious. Love the Predictions part where he imagines pigs are gonna start boycotting products used on SOA – how ridiculous ! Lube and Butt Plugs are advertised on SOA right ?

  32. Jim666 Says:

    this story and the SOA gang page is unfuckinbeleavable.. wow !!!
    just when you think people and the feds cant get more dumb. just wow !


  33. Short-Cut Says:

    Are you telling me I wasted money getting this Laffing Devils back tatt!? Fuck now I gotta get it washed off and a SoA one put on

  34. VINCE 1%er Says:

    No Disrespect to REBEL :
    This Site/Blog has TOO Many ASSHOLES & POSEURS Responding to such drivel as this topic.

  35. Phuquehed Says:

    @Rebel – Just out of curiosity, have you gotten ‘swamped’ yet?

  36. jcfromnj Says:

    SOA Tats? There is a SOA SHOP in New Jersey that rolls out all the SOA shit that I see down at the local Supermarket during the summer. I would advocate a surgical drone airstrike by some 3 letter govt agency that we know nothing about….or the supersecret elusive FART(Fast Action Response Team…check it out!) but that’s just my thoughts on the matter.

  37. jcfromnj Says:

    Rebel: We already had this conversation about a local SOA 3 piece patch club out here is S. Jersey. Tried to unsuccessfully chat one of the fellows a while back with no luck…

  38. Slick Says:

    You all rock with the comments. They are so awesome. Keep it up.

    Many respects


  39. Just Another Patch Says:

    @ Rebel

    Did you have anyone from this site or in general write you I posted it as a joke on facebook

  40. PC Says:

    Find a real “outlaw biker”soa is a children’s show before bedtime.

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