Ice Cycles

January 6, 2009

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The Sedalia Democrat reports that there actually is a place for us. A place where we can be crazy and stupid and people will hardly even bother to stare at us let alone call the police.

Six members of an informal club called the Crazy Old Bikers and two known associates participated in the inaugural Frosty Buns Run in a little town called La Monte in Missouri on New Year’s Day. La Monte is on Route 50 about 50 miles east of Kansas City, in case you decide to move there.

First Thing Get Naked

Early last Thursday afternoon, probably as soon as they sobered up, the eight bikers parked their motorcycles in front of the La Monte Baptist Church. They left their motors running and ran into “Dog” Simmons’ house. Dog runs the tattoo parlor in La Monte and he is the President of the Crazy Old Bikers. The eight men -regrettably there were no women-stripped down to just their boots and underwear, hopped back on their bikes and rode around town.

Dog described the run as a “polar bear plunge for bikers.”

Mandatory Run For Patch Holders

La Monte is pretty small so it was a short ride. One of the Crazy Old Bikers, named Mike Walbom, could not ride because he was laid up but he showed his solidarity with his club brothers by taking off all his clothes except for his one boot and his underwear and then he limped after the pack on his crutches.

“I broke my leg so I couldn’t play,” Walbom told the Democrat. “But these are the greatest people you’ll ever meet.”

Another Crazy Old Biker named Rocky Sisk said, “There’s nothing like riding your Harley.”

The Cold Makes It Small Is All

Dog Simmons was a little disappointed with the turnout. “Some people said they would do it and didn’t, but the crazy ones are the ones who did it,” Dog said.

Dog’s wife Jill said, “Next year we want to make it bigger.”

And, there are about a thousand easy jokes about how the only reason it was small was because it was cold and about how Jill could probably get some of her friends to make it bigger if she really wanted to and so on. You can imagine your own sexy joke.

We will just let it go with the simple, happy fact that the Crazy Old Bikers ran this event and absolutely nobody in town called the state police.

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