Pope To Bless Successful American Export

June 14, 2013

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America’s brief heyday was probably the interlude between the big World War and the smaller war nobody is still really allowed to talk about. Maybe the heyday stretched into the golden age of disco. It probably ended with Reagan and it is definitely over now, for sure. But, the ghosts of that time haunt us all.

America’s and the world’s fascination with all things Harley-Davidson and motorcycle outlaw is really nostalgia for the way we were before the current time of benevolent Stalinism. We now live in a world where Michael Bloomberg must be smarter than everybody else because he is a billionaire. And because he is a billionaire and must be smarter than all the non-billionaires it is his duty to ban big gulps, and the Second and Fourth Amendments. Bill Maher has been campaigning recently to have the Second Amendment repealed. After all, he argues, if Swat has guns why would you possibly need one?

Yet there remains a significant subculture of benighted Americans who, against all reason, continue to yearn for just yesterday when jobs were disposable instead of workers.

The Devils Ride and Sons of Anarchy both pay homage to that lost time before it was a felony to punch a cop; when men were the masters of their own fate and when the going got rough you could just get on your bike and escape into the west and make a fresh start. Boys don’t watch The Devils Ride because they are interested in Sandman or White Boi. They watch because they want to be Sandman or White Boi. They don’t want to be Michael Bloomberg or Bill Maher.

Harley has been cashing in on this nostalgia for the last free years since AMF got out of the motorcycle business. The times may have changed but the memory, maybe it is an embellished memory on the cusp of becoming a myth, is undaunted. Some weeks it manifests as a circus. This morning the circus pulled into Rome. This Sunday it will be blessed by the Pope.

Hooray For Harleywood

Harley-Davidson, a company that until recently was so covered in the American flag that sober men would tattoo the company’s name on their arms, has been emphasizing its global market for the last few years. To that end the Motor Company presented the Pope with two of its motorcycles and a leather jacket on Wednesday in honor of Harley’s 110th birthday, One of the bikes was signed by Pope Francis predecessor, the former Pope Benedict XVI. One of them will go into a Vatican museum. The other will be auctioned off for charity. Maybe Michael Bloomberg will buy it.

Thursday the circus pitched its tents in Ostia, a port city near Rome. The event there is expected draw 100,000 visitors over four days. Thirty-five thousand of them are expected to ride in. The event will feature test-rides, beer, bratz, a tattoo booth and lots of Harley tee-shirts.

Sarah Hauer, writing in the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, interviewed a 15-year-old Britain named Adey Scammell. Scammell rode in from England with three friends. When he arrived he had a Harley eagle with two pistons tattooed on his back. Scammell told the Journal Sentinel. “Short of us coming to Milwaukee, this is the next best place.” When Hauer asked him what he likes about Harleys he replied, “the noise, the look and everything that goes with it.”

By “everything that goes with it” Scammell was probably referring to what Vladimir Putin, in an address to the Night Wolves a few years ago in Sevastopol, called “the tempting feeling of freedom”.

Blessing Of the Bikes

This Sunday an estimated 1300 Harleys will ride into Saint Peter’s Square for a blessing of the bikes by the Pope. Toronto’s Globe and Mail described the blessing as “nothing short of a marketing triumph.” Of course it is. “It is impossible to imagine rival motorcycle makers getting such attention and privileges,” the Globe and Mail continued. “The blessing of the Hondas or the Suzukis? Forget it.”

John Wheeler, a Harley executive whose job has something to do with international perception management, told the Journal Sentinel, “the brand and its American ideals translate across cultures.”

“Many people already know the Harley brand, even though we don’t sell in their country,” Wheeler continued. “People know that we stand for personal freedom, individualism and boldness.”

Thirty-five percent of Harley’s sales are now outside the United States. After Rome, the Harley-Davidson noise and freedom circus will travel to China, Austria, India, New Zealand, Germany, Australia, South Africa, Mexico and Brazil. Then the circus will return to Milwaukee for Labor Day Weekend.


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10 Responses to “Pope To Bless Successful American Export”

  1. Phuquehed Says:

    ‘Circus’ is the perfect name/term, though ‘fucking farce’ could be a fine substitute.

  2. OC VAGO Says:

    Bill Maher is a fucking idiot who has never had an original thought in his life. The clown can’t discuss or debate a single issue without a stack of notes and cue cards. He can never just gracefully acquiesce when he is outwitted or plain old wrong. Always has to have the last word like a whiny bitch.

  3. Woodstock Says:

    Yes billy maher is a first order punk cocksucker and it is hard to pinpoint exactly when America peaked. I think it might have been November of 63. Interesting times we’re living in, but not dull.

  4. Metal Dave Says:

    “Harleywood”, haha…perfect

  5. swampy Says:

    Even Miller (High Life) Beer has collaborated with H-D this year as both celebrate their 110th year. I actually prefer the taste of Miller as opposed to anything that’s made by Anheuser-Busch. The cardboard Miller carton has the motor company’s shield and wings(done in black) with a red and white Miller High Life emblem set between the wings. Underneath the shield and wings a caption reads: “Together We Raise One Up To 110 Years.”
    Okay, back to compacting aluminum cans because THAT is what America has come to.

    Yes, FUCK Bill Maher.

  6. Junior Says:

    Always wondered what happened to that America that I grew up in back in the late 70’s. Pretty sure it was hijacked by corporations like H-D. I want my fucking America back! Don’t much like the socialist/tolerant/police-state version.-Junior

  7. whitefxrp Says:

    The Pope blesses any fucker that can be arsed to turn up,no matter who or what the reason….20 euros for a coffee in the square ! get the fuck from me Satan lol

  8. Q-Baller Says:

    Good article!

    As an American living in Europe for over 11 years, I can say that Europeans in general “cherry pick” from the USA. Europeans love the “American Dream” and avoid the rest. What do I mean? There are “Roosevelt Boulevards” and “JFK Boulevards” in every European capital but no “George Bush Boulevards” or “Clinton Boulevards”. That should summarize it in so many words. France had a popular restaurant called “Rout 66” and throughout Europe there are HOG events and such with American flags and Harleys everywhere.

    One aging psychedelic shaman quipped it the “world corporate state” and so it is, the age we live in. Freedom perhaps these days can only be a mental state. Recently, started riding a Harley myself and it is addictive and loud. So I am a “citizen” with a Harley now and an American Expat on two wheels rumbling around the old continent.

    America won the Cold War and yes I have seen it myself – Harleys rumbling all over the place in Moscow too! The world is made in America’s (corporate) image now. Harley, Disney, and Coca Cola all over the planet!

    A few centuries ago, the Catholic Church reigned Supreme in Europe. The printing press, wars of religion, and symbolically the French Revolution ended that Vatican monopoly of power (NB: Napolean crowning himself emperor, not the Pope). But Kings, emperors, and popes, now bow to the CEO and the corporation; and the global oligarchy discreetly hold the shares. Do not see how that is going to change anytime soon . . .

    Eisenhauer’s prediction in his farewell address has come true . . . the military-industrial-petro-pharma-gizillionaire complex might be its “updated” name and nation state boundaries are a formality. But that is all mumbo-jumbo.

    In the hearts of people all over the planet the mythic “American Dream” lives, and even if packaged in corporate marketing there is still something real if ever so lightly. And Harley is a symbol supreme.


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