Episode Fourteen

April 11, 2013

All Posts, Reviews

The Devils Ride cablecast its fourteenth episode and ended its second “season” last Monday. If that’s it, it will have been the show’s schizophrenia that killed it.

The show began as a supposed real look inside a real motorcycle club – “a place,” as one of Hunter Thompson’s early admirers put it, “few of us would dare to go.” It was intended to be a cheap show that would commodify an interesting and undervalued counterculture. But most of the real action was either washed and spun dried or ignored: A club prospect and members of the production crew mugged a passing photographer, the show’s star turned out to be married to a cop, other clubs in San Diego told the Laffing Devils, the family club at the center of the show, to disappear.

Let’s Do A Show

The plots were ludicrous and they could only be advanced with voice over narration and “confessional” style interviews with key cast members in the manner of Survivor and Big Brother. The one on ones, usually in black and white and probably filmed well after the fact, sort of explained to viewers what a better drama would have, you know, dramatized. The show might have been better if the producers, a company named Bischoff-Hervey and a guy Steve Stockman had simply turned The Devils Ride into a drama based on true events like Australia’s Brothers In Arms or Sons of Anarchy. Kurt Sutter was right, by the way. One of the shots in the opening montage of every episode of The Devils Ride is a blatant rip off of an image in the FX show’s opening. But Bischoff, Hervey and Stockman were too gutless and lame to admit their biker fantasies were made up. Or, giving them all the benefit of the doubt, maybe the production company was contractually obligated to Discovery to cough up fourteen episodes of a reality show about what started as a real motorcycle club.

The club itself ceased to be real last summer when the San Diego Confederation of Clubs kicked the Laffing Devils to the curb and pronounced a lifetime ban on all the club’s officers. The producers ignored the actual and interesting story in that, which was what happens when a bunch of rude Hollywood bozos stick their noses into the MC world. Instead Bischoff-Hervey and temporary series star Thomas Gipsy Quinn invented an entirely imaginary motorcycle club called the Sinister Mob Syndicate. The Laffing Devils became an entirely imaginary club as well last June. The names and insignia of both clubs are now commercially trademarked as for-profit brands.

Five Hours Lost Forever

I watched five of the fourteen episodes: The first episode last May titled “The Brotherhood;” the final episode of the first season last June titled “Fallen Devil,” a Fluffernutter sandwich about Quinn and his Sinister Mobsters; “First Blood” the first episode when the show returned this February without Quinn – who had been arrested on suspicion of pedophilia during the hiatus; and the thirteenth and fourteenth episodes called “Enemy Within” and “War Is Now” which ran back to back on April 8th.

I tried to approach each episode with an open mind. Now, after almost a year, the nicest thing I can think to say about this monstrosity was, I always liked the theme song.

Oh, whoa, whoa, oh,
Never ride alone again.
Oh, whoa, whoa, oh,
You’ll never ride alone again.
I know you’re a hard man
Made of mortal brick and bone,
Ridin’ hard all your life,
Searchin’ for something
you can call your own.

Most of the last two episodes were prefabricated, fatuous, amateurish and inane melodrama that made me feel embarrassed for all the people who got paid behind this homemade comic book. I might not have much money but at least I won’t be appearing in this thing for the next hundred years. Piled on top of the grade school drama were incidents from the consensual reality in which most of us believe we exist: The photographer mugging, the furious Mongol who appeared for a few fleeting seconds last year and, this season, real glimpses of two real people named Rob and Melissa Johnston in the angry, ugly, sad and very private moments of their disillusionment with one other. I didn’t want to see the private hell of Knucklehead and the pretty girl with the sleeve of tattoos but that was all the producers could think to show me.

Let’s Blow Up A Trailer

The show was crazy like that to the very end when the action-film style explosion of a dilapidated and empty trailer filmed from multiple camera angles was quickly followed by a black and white long shot of Sandman dressed in a suit, looking small beside his very tall lawyer, the two of them looking small together in front of a mountain of grey blocks in downtown San Diego called the Hall of Justice. I wanted to look away from all that too.

If there is anyone who might for some reason be interested, and who does not yet know, because the show did not have the huevos to tell its viewers what was going on, Sandman was arrested for multiple counts including attempted murder after he broke into Melissa’s home last Christmastime and stabbed her guest in the back. Probably they will not be getting back together. At least I didn’t have to want to look away as their children were trotted out to appear in this horrifying flop. Probably Sandman is looking at a little stretch. Probably, even if for some reason The Devils Ride returns, both the husband and the wife are out of the show that went out of its way to portray him as dangerously and impulsively violent.

I would have liked to have watched more episodes than I did, because if the show was only a little better, it would have been a delight to mock, but I could not. Within five minutes something would always make me feel too embarrassed to watch.

There were some nice moments in the show this late winter and early spring. Some of the Sinister Mobsters talked the talk pretty good. Several of them seemed like guys in a motorcycle club. I would have liked to have seen more of that. I would have liked to have seen Ralph “Rockem” Randolph call a prospect at three in the morning and demand a pizza, from his favorite pizzeria in Phoenix. The show could have used moments like that. But there were none because the production kept getting in its own way; because it kept trying to brazen its way out of its own trash can full of secrets and lies.

So, it is what it was.



38 Responses to “Episode Fourteen”

  1. Ronbo Says:

    two words

    T V

  2. Dirty Dingus McGee Says:

    So is this abortion finally over? Done, gone, kaput? I tried, I really did, to watch this show. Like others, after a few minutes I would find myself just shaking my head at the BS being shown. Perhaps now, it will be safe to unblock the Discovery channel.

    And if perchance it does return, it will find a home on the correct network; Comedy Central.

  3. One Eye Says:

    I can honestly say that,except for approximately 30 painful seconds of a trailer, I have never seen any of this show, and I never will. If it doesn’t return I’m sure they’ll fill its spot with some other equally insipid television show that will showcase to what depths humans will sink for their 15 minutes of fame.

  4. Frequent Flyer Says:

    LMAO at the lyrics in the theme song

  5. Frequent Flyer Says:

    @One Eye

    I only saw whatever was uploaded on youtube. I don’t have cable tv.

  6. Red&Gold Says:

    Switching the subject to something I care about… does anyone know where I left my warm weather gloves last fall?

  7. Phuquehed Says:

    Got you all beat – still no teevee after almost three years now I think and happy as can be about it, especially just knowing this kind of shit is out there and I’m not paying for it, heh.

  8. Bill Says:

    Last watched TV sometime in the early 90’s, when Beavis and Butthead showed up and changed my life. A few years earlier, a friend had sidetracked another’s intended Salvation Army donation to me, explaining it would end up in China anyway, and “it does have an ‘off switch,'” after I protested I hadn’t watched that crap since Rawhide, Route 66, Gunsmoke and later, Star Trek went of the air, somewhere in the 60’s and 70’s, and didn’t intend to start again. Well I did, but just for a little bit. The device itself was (is) this handsome RCA floor model with an oval walnut console, on a chrome base. I used to enjoy looking at it more when it was off than on. Then one day it crapped out and the TV fix-it guy suggested I hire a high school electric shop kid to rewire all the now gummed together capacitors. I gave up and bought a black monstrosity that now, as Jeff Foxworthy famously rednecked, sits atop my beautifully dead old TV/TV table. Disconnected cable about 20 years ago and wife uses it for Netflix. Speaking of ‘technology’, finally got a real phone recently. Man. I used to think I wanted a laptop. No more. That thing is all I need, and then some. And, I can watch Rawhide on it if I want. Turn it sideways and you somehow forget that 5″ is a small screen, and come to think of it, the very first TV I ever saw, was in a motel somewhere in Arizona, in the 50’s, advertised on the sign like the second coming of sliced bread, and it was, it seems now, maybe 8″ across, a little square box, with something probably as yet unnamed ‘rabbit ears’ poking out the top, scratchy B&W, with that humming Indian head test pattern on most channels, probably better than most programming now days.

  9. Helipilotguy Says:

    Not a 1%er myself just like riding and I saw 5 minutes of this stain on a sheet that grew in the drier. All I can say is wow just wow!Who ever had a hand in making this show happen needs to be stopped!

  10. 10guage Says:


    I saw about as much as you did for similar reasons and others I won’t go into here last year before it was very obviously FAKE…Your words about Sandman struck a cord with me….The struggle he faced in the beginning is one most of us have delt with and I most certainly could relate to…I don’t know what happened between them and don’t care except to say I have lost brothers to hard time for similar shit and I too am a take sides kind of motherfucker….I only bring this up because of the bullshit comments supposedly left here by her and her pop….not to mention how disgusting the wrestling folks handled it by interjecting the only real story line they had into a fucking spy vs. spy meets days of our lives…..FUCK HOLLYWOOD…and as always your story was written with complete CLASS..


  11. Tricky WWB Says:

    wondering when young Mr Sharp will show up to tell us its still all real…

    Respects to those that deserve it


  12. Base Says:

    Now that will look good on Resume.

    “The show had a hell of a theme song!”

    As granny base would call it… “A sweet li’l ditty!” That women could play anything with strings and loved music.

    First time hearing it entirely. It really is pretty good song.

    The show?

    What could be said that hasn’t been said?

    Ya’ll have a great week end, 70’s here, going to ride the wheels of it.

    Rubber side up, head on a swivel.


  13. lee Says:

    i have watched all episodes in both series i started to watch it originally because i thought it was going to be one of those shows that was 20% truth the rest made up but little did i know it would turn out so bad an 100% made up but like a car accident i felt i had to watch the next episode to see if it was really that bad. now i have been in the bike scene in england since i was 16/17yrs old and am still youngish (36) i knew that no club would let you see any thing that was going to incriminate them but the scenes in the second series of rock em meeting up with an underworld guy who did not have his face blurred an going to the docks to unload the merchindise was just pathetic at least SOA tells you it is made up, bikie wars was good because it was based on a true story and i felt it was played out well by the actors and did a good job to bring across what life was like in the clubs. i hope this devils ride was just a faze for the tv people maybe its out of their system now and they leave us alone that young lad on here recently just goes to show some people out there beleve this tripe and that could be the future of biking which is not good if he wants an education in biking lifestyle he should just get out there an go talk to em they may grunt at you for a while but if u act in a sensible way they will talk to you my local bike clubs where exactly the same but once they saw i was into it they would even buy me the occasional beer :) anyways i knw this is a strange rant but just how i feel was put down in words i hope u all ride safe n free n party hard when ya can respect to u all out there club or no club an big thanx to rebel for this site as i get to keep up on news across the pond. lee in england

  14. JAMES Says:

    It just keeps getting worse, I try to watch a couple minutes of this and that is all I can stand, never have watched a complete episode of “LAUGHING BOZOS” and only a couple “SOA”, shit like this is why clubs can’t get worthy member these days, they think this is what it is about and the wearing of a patch makes them standout and noticed, it does and not in any way to be proud of.

  15. One Eye Says:

    @Frequent Flyer and Phuquehed: We moved into our current home 2 1/2 years ago and we still don’t have any television other than Canadian Netflix which is about as exciting as rice cakes; you know the ones where after you bite into them you discover they’re better used for shipping things. Every time I think I’ll break down and get cable I visit my Mom-In-Law and remind myself why I don’t have it. I might do the antenna thing this summer. My neighbour told me for less than a C-note it’s a done deal and it’s FREE; go figure, you don’t have to pay to watch the television that you had to purchase. I have to admit I do miss Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy.

  16. the blacksmith Says:

    I watched them. I guess I like cheap thrills. Little things in the background always got me to chuckle. Like the “mugshots” in the clubhouse. Guys with hats on and sunglasses….yeah.
    I suppose I may even like TV jail. Probably not though.

  17. OC VAGO Says:

    Thank God its over

  18. Frequent Flyer Says:


    Good stuff, man. Ha ha. Rember the old Stereo LP players with the huge speaker cabinets and console? Ha ha it took up an entire wall in the living room.

    Then sometime in the 80’s we got the Pioneer receiver, Kenwood tapedeck and turntable. Ha ha. I actually still have a turntable but the receiver finally crapped the bed about 6 years ago.

    My brother who is alot smarter than me, was able to hook his old system through a PC and burn CD’s from LP’s.

    Man, I loved records. I still have an original Beach Boys Endless Summer with the poster inside.

    Oh and if interested, you can see all the old Beavis and Butthead shows on youtube.

  19. Rebel Says:

    Dear 10guage,

    Thanx much.


  20. Rebel Says:

    Dear Red&Gold,

    Check the bottom of your saddlebags. You’ll probably find one of them there. You’re on your own for the other one.


  21. Rebel Says:

    Dear Dirty Dingus McGee,

    It hasn’t been cancelled yet. Just a guess, but if Jason Hervey is willing to throw Steve Stockman under the bus the show might yet be back, set mostly in Los Angeles and featuring some of this year’s cast. The show still has a good premise — “inside an outlaw motorcycle club.” It has a fan base of a million people who would probably like to see it come back. And it probably has a potential audience two or three times that size who would tune in to that premise. The problem was, the show was just unwatchable. Whether anybody at the production company or network is sober enough to get that or not, I don’t know. I think it is likely the show is now a dark corner of history.


  22. Rebel Says:

    Dear Ronbo,

    TV? You mean like Masterpiece Theatre?


  23. Matt Says:

    @One Eye:

    Google project free tv. No one should have to pay to watch this garbage and commercials.

  24. One Eye Says:

    @Matt: Thank you.

  25. SickRick Says:

    I think the “Danny Boy” character probably nailed it at the end. “It’s gonna get a lot worse before it gets any better”.

  26. Whitepride Says:

    I don’t know how these so-called bikers can look at themselves in the mirror. They would’nt know real brotherhood if it stabbed them in the ballbag with an ice pick. I’m just happy that the train wreck is ended! Stay White

  27. Frequent Flyer Says:

    @One Eye

    When I had cable, I always felt obligated to watch shit on tv because I was paying so much money for it. Over the years my attention span is shot, where I can’t even get through an entire episode of a show in one sitting. So I switched to box sets of shit like Homeland and Breaking bad and I can watch ten minutes here, ten minutes there at my own leisure. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and I watch a little bit. The weird thing is all I got is an antenna and i get like 50 channels and I just surf through them from time to time I usually watch shit on PBS or I’ll get a HOckey game it’s be like the Phoenix COyotes or some shit but I don’t care. I watch my ten minutes and I’m good. Ha ha.

    So yeah, go with the antenna you won’t regret it. Most of the shit I watch is on regular tv anyway like Family guy or Simpsons reruns.

    And of course, back to back Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune.

    Everything else I get it off youtube. I get entire concerts, Johnny Winter, Led Zeppelin, ZZ Top its awesome.

  28. Dirty Dingus McGee Says:

    Rebel sez, “It hasn’t been cancelled yet.”

    If there was a merciful and just God, this show would have never graced(?) the small screen. The fallout is amazing as to what some people get out of this show, being as it’s hyped as a “real” biker show.

    Case in point; Late last week I stopped for gas and decided some coffee would be mighty nice(now that gas station coffee is good for more than cleaning corroded battery terminals). While waiting to pay for it, a young(14-17 years old I guessed) female behind me noticed my patch. She said, ” O wow, you’re a(insert name of motorcycle club here). Thinking, to myself, what gave it away?, I smiled at her and just said, “yep, sure am”. Go outside and have a smoke with my brew, sure enough here she comes again. Now once upon a time, I would have looked at this as a gift from heaven. These days, not so much as I’m well past 18 years old. She wanted to chat, so being a Nice Friendly Guy, I played along. Right up until she asked if I had ever met/partied with the Laffin Dorks. I tried to explain that it was a FICTIONAL tv show, not reality, is based in California, and we were at least 2000 miles from there. She gave me look that was the same one you see when a kid first is told there is no Santa Claus. Conversation over. As I pulled out of the station, I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry.

    I think I did both.

  29. Deathcamp2000 Says:

    HOLY SHIT! Have you seen the amount of merchandise that discovery peddles for this heap of shit??? gloves! fucking shift knobs!!! hilarious!

  30. DUFER Says:


  31. Budweiser Says:

    DDM- Your story is a great example of the reduced intelligence of today’s youth. I fail to understand how even a teenager could think this show was “real” life. The again she didn’t even seem to know that the LD’s were from San Diego, so she probably just was making small talk and wanted to go for a ride.

  32. Kraut Says:

    For those that don’t think that they have what it takes to be a Laffing Devil…..there is always “support crew”. (and I thought SOA gear was ridiculous)


  33. Metal Dave Says:

    “Within five minutes something would always make me feel too embarrassed to watch.”

    Exactly. The awkwardness of the clear steaming pile was almost awesome in and of itself. So hilarious…

  34. Stevo Says:

    Kraut-Unbeleivably, they’ve actually sold some!

  35. slycechyx Says:

    Their support crew are make-up, wardrobe & the cue card holders,

  36. Lady Hump Says:

    The merchandise as funny as it is, will become a collectible in the years to come. Like old movie cuts from 70’s biker flicks are much sought after by collectors (…japan $$$), twenty years from now that “Part of the Brotherhood” t-shirt will be framed in a restaurant somewhere… Hard Rock cafe Tehran 2025, and Hollywood will probably make a feature length movie with a club by the same name, with actors playing actors, and it’ll be horrible like Vampire movies are today, with glitter in dudes hair and a total lack of gore. And people will talk about the “original inspiration…” and kids will ask dad’s to pull out those old obsolete Blue Ray players from the storage shed to watch bootleg copies of LD season 1+2 box sets and some of the kids will think it’s so cool to see how things used to be in the past and some kids will totally walk away from it, not because of the acting, but because of the lack of 4-D special effects…

  37. chromedome Says:

    Can’t help it but i enjoyed watching the laffed-at devils try so hard to act tough. only watched a lil of 1st season but the part where the new recruit throws the beer can at the fag who use to be their lead quieter for running up on their cubhouse. Man i haven’t laughed that hard since osama got re elected.

    -shiny side down
    Tn titan standing tall

  38. Pig Says:

    I was checking out Netflix the other night trying to find something to watch before I turned in and I noticed that The Devil’s Ride was on there. I’ve never seen the show before so I thought I’d check it out and see what all the fuss was about. Now I’m not a patch holder but I’ve watched two episodes now and I have to admit, I haven’t got a goddamn clue what’s going on! What the fuck is this show even about?

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