The former Hells Angel wanted to know why the hack writer didn’t call him before he wrote about him.
“I don’t know, man. What do you think I got wrong? I thought I was pretty nice to you.”
“Oh no,” Ralph “Rockem” Randolph replied. Randolph is a pleasant man, a former member of the Mesa, Arizona charter of the HAMC, a custom bike builder, an airline pilot, a former Marine and one of the two new stars of the Discovery Channel’s The Devils Ride. “You’re doing a good job. You just should have called me.”
“Okay. Ralph, what are you doing in this thing? This Sinister Mobster stuff is all make believe.”
Last year The Devils Ride was a campy parody of outlaw motorcycle clubs centered around a once nice, low key club in San Diego called the Laffing Devils. In a plot twist intended to set up the second season, the founder of the Laffing Devils, a former cast member named Thomas “Gipsy” Quinn, started a second club called the Sinister Mob Syndicate Motorcycle Club. The new club was founded in an unusual way – by Bischoff – Hervey Entertainment, the television show’s producers.
Previously The Aging Rebel said, “The Devils Ride has been insightful about three piece patch motorcycle clubs as Jersey Shore is insightful about Leonardo Da Vinci and as Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Killer is insightful about the Civil War.” There are a regrettably finite number of one-liners about this basic cable thing. Live with it. The foundation of the SMSMC and its alleged existence is one of the things the show gets wrong.
But Rockem protests. “Oh no. It’s a real club.” Randolph and his real, actual familiarity with motorcycles and motorcycle clubs is part of the smoke that surrounds The Devils Ride. Rockem’s personal history is supposed to convince the squares the show is the truth just as a couple of appearances by Rusty Coones last season were supposed to convince people the show was legitimate. Discovery describes Ralph Randolph’s character like this: “Now at the core of Sin Mob, Rockem has plans for the club that could eclipse all the members, including his President, Bubba.”
“Okay, Ralph. Did you prospect.”
“No! It’s a start up club. Sin Mob is a real club – we had to start it with original members.”
“How many members?”
“I can’t tell you.” Then Ralph said something completely ridiculous.
“Do you really want me to publish that?”
“No,” Rockem laughs. “No I don’t.”
“You know most guys in clubs hate this show.”
“On a show most people hate we just bagged 1.3 million viewers.”
“Well, I know every time I mention the show I get hits.”
“It’s the same for you and us. You get hits and we get ratings.”
“True that. The fluff pays for the journalism.”
Bischoff And Hervey
Ralph Randolph met Eric Bischoff and Jason Hervey in 2006 when he did a pilot for a show called Taking Care of Business. The show never sold but the men stayed in touch.
“Why? Money? I know the custom motorcycle business is down.”
“I wanted to get on the show so I could kick Sandman’s ass.” Robert “Sandman” Johnston is one of the original characters on The Devils Ride. “I was so pissed when I saw the show I wanted to kick his ass. That’s how I got here.”
“Very well. What can I do for you, Ralph? What do you want people to know?”
“It’s not fabricated – Sin Mob,” Ralph says without laughing. “Now we’ve started this thing with a whole bunch of outlaw MC guys. People will be pleasantly surprised. Even the haters will be pleasantly surprised. The show is really going to get good. It’s going to get more and more explosive. They’re gonna have some respect for who we are and what we’re doing.”
“Yes. Watch and see.”
“What else should people know?”
“My twitter account. It’s @rrknockout. I hope to promote my business through this thing. I have the shop in Mesa and I have a shop in Dago now.”
Ralph also wants everybody to know his show is on again tonight at 10 p.m.