Loathing Sons Of Anarchy

September 12, 2012

All Posts, Features, Reviews

Every year I review the season’s first episode of Sons of Anarchy. Every September I watch the show, think about it for a few hours then criticize it. And every year people write back to explain to me the two principal ways in which I just don’t get this profitable fantasy. On the one hand I don’t understand motorcycle clubs and on the other I just don’t get the concept of drama – let alone television drama.

I am, my kindest critics tell me, like an unsophisticated, old outlaw sitting in a movie theater in 1903, watching Edwin S. Porter’s 12-minute-long The Great Train Robbery and becoming so excited by the action that I must draw my revolver and shoot up the movie screen. “Whoa old timer! It’s only a movie!”

Maybe my kind critics are right. I loathed last night’s episode so much that I wanted to draw the loaded revolver I keep by my bed. And, I would have, too, if the screen I was watching didn’t happen to be the front of my television.

It Don’t Matter

It hardly matters what I think anyway. Sons of Anarchy is not aimed at me. The show has nothing to do with motorcycle clubs, bikers, living in the moment, America, wide open spaces, personal courage, a blunt contempt for the world’s bullshit, a radical devotion to individual liberty or living and dying on your own terms. The show is about post-millennial Hollywood and the plight of the doomed, young, American men who watch it.

I admit there were many moments I enjoyed in last night’s episode. When Ron Perlman snaps shut a big bore revolver he reminds me of me. I could listen to Katie Sagal talk drug black outs, blow jobs, well worn pussy and granny fetishes all night. Jimmy Smits’ line, “I’m a companionater. I bring people together. It’s all about the love,” made me smile. I thought a montage of cartoon violence choreographed to a rock n’ roll sound track was fun. I get it. I’m not quite as obtuse as I seem.

Shut Up Jax

But, I also sighed impatiently at Kurt Sutter’s literary pretensions. As a working hack, the show’s writers embarrass me. Somebody should tell Jax to burn his fucking journal, get a grip and start over.

Within a mind numbing 90 seconds Prince Hamlet of Charming prattled poetry slam noise so awful it turned me deaf; he quoted Nietzsche’s sophomoric platitude, “That which does not destroy me strengthens me;” then he ripped off Christopher Hitchens’ posthumously published essay – written as Hitchens was dying of cancer a few months ago – in which Hitchens argued that Nietzsche’s line couldn’t be more complacently stupid. This is what writing means at FX television central – which I am certain is a wholly owned subsidiary of the Tyrell Corporation. Creative writing is stealing the dying sentiments of a literary lion and then just brazening it out on the assumption that nobody who watches this crap will notice. The producers don’t make this air filler for people who have heard of Christopher Hitchens. But the writers should have heard of Hitchens. And, if they have they should be ashamed. If they are capable of shame.

Patch Holders

The imaginary “motorcycle club” at the center of all this noise is rotten with weaklings. Perlman’s character Clay, who we are to think is a steely-eyed murderer and combat Vet, is punked by his whore wife. Then Perlman shows us that Clay is so decrepit he can no longer sit on a motorcycle. Worst of all the yellow son-of-a-bitch refuses to fire that black bitch up one last time and aim for the nearest brick wall.

Charlie Hunnum’s Jax and his faction have such high regard for the psychological sensitivities of black gangsters that they take meetings with them to work things out. How wonderfully, politically correct. Then these motorcycle outlaws disarm themselves when told to do so.

The ugly dramatic climax of this season’s premiere came when an empty cut named Tig, convincingly portrayed by the actor Kim Coates, allows himself to be captured and then handcuffed. He is supposed to be this club’s sergeant at arms. Then Tig pleads and dances while the black gangsters in suits burn his daughter alive. A coward dies a thousand deaths. A man would have jumped in the fire with her, then crawled back out and at least tried to set one of them on fire.

Why

It is hard to know what the producers were after with this grotesque scene. Maybe Kurt Sutter, the series’ show runner and the real life husband of the actress who plays the whore, is trying to start a race war. Maybe FX has shown him some research that indicates his black audience share will increase if he dramatizes black mafioso heartlessly tormenting white alpha males. It may be a cynical pandering to the resentments of the dispossessed young white men who worship this show. Or, maybe there was no point to it at all. Maybe, as the gunfighter said on the day he was hung, “It ain’t much but it’s a way to pass the time.”

My problem with this show has always been that it is produced by hollow men. Whether by design or instinct, by consensus or fiat, the scripts proclaim that the creators learned everything they know from television. Maybe the intention of that is put people who are afraid to think at ease. “See. Look. Nothing to think about here.” When the writers look at a woman they see tits. When they look at a man they see a costume.

The show, by general pronouncement, is an homage to the vanishing, white, American proletariat and its most dramatic and obstinate manifestation – the motorcycle club world. Another show might have something interesting to say about this counterculture in the American moment when most national institutions have become actually dangerous to the citizens they are supposed to serve. But another show might not translate well into the Tajikistani tertiary market so the producers avoid such difficult sentiments. And, so the show mines the ruins of that old America that made things as medieval Romans mined the Coliseum. It simultaneously rips off and diminishes the people it claims to admire. And it comes off to me as being at least as spurious as the current advertising fad for using veterans – particularly recent female veterans, or even better adorable children dressed as veterans – to sell insurance policies, bank accounts and Disneyland.

Angry Yet

It might be this self-glorifying hypocrisy that enrages many of the show’s viewers – not just me. We all understand this is just a television show. And, we all understand that Mitt Romney, Barack Obama and the economic recovery are just a television show, too.

Of course, Sons of Anarchy isn’t made for me. It is made for an audience that kills its jobless days with videogames and is about to buy a tablet computer on credit. Sons of Anarchy is a masterful blend of pheromones sceintifically created to attract the upscale consumers who must own all the latest gadgets lest they remember who they are. So what you actually see when you tune in is a torrent of fleeting images and throwaway buzzwords: “The Irish,” “the cartel,” “the CIA,” gang bangers in Italian suits, empty male posturing and Dynas with fairings travelling lonely roads at night.

It is quite literally a comic book. First you invent the evocative image then you insert a one liner. “Did I give you a blow job too?” “No! No! No! Nooooo!”

The mindless, pop images invite viewers to shower in a torrent of upscale luxuries.

Important Show

This is obviously an important show – anyone can see the respect advertisers bestow upon it. It delivers the important audience of dispossessed and hopeless American males who think their identity can be made of things. Drink tequila, watch HBO, look at Charlie Sheen, does he look worried, play more video games.

Sons of Anarchy is an idiotic cartoon that uses sound and fury to sell shit. The violence and cruelty in last night’s show might be a video generation’s moral equivalent of war – a war they intend to win with mindless consumption. And, it is candy coated with nostalgia for a vanished America. It is a fantasy about a lost world that eagerly anticipates our imminent cyberpunk future.

And, I just want to go on the record as saying that there is nothing wrong with that. I’m just not buying.

 

 

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464 Responses to “Loathing Sons Of Anarchy”

  1. neobaja Says:

    Well fuck you pack of cunts,you telling me this show is fake,farrrrk,hello hand gun,goodbye cruel world :(

  2. sherides Says:

    Rebel,

    “I bet if I go to your house and knock, somebody stupid will answer the door.”

    Priceless…. and oh so applicable to way too many people I have encountered this week. It’s been an exceptionally crappy week in cubicleland this week (and probably not such a joyful one for you either – given the prepondurance of trolls). I had to smile when I read that.

    sherides

  3. YYZ Skinhead Says:

    One Eye Says:

    “I’m assuming the altitude in relation to the giraffe anatomy is due to being attached by your lips?”

    Me: Laughing and saying “eeewww” simultaneously.

    One Eye:

    “You know, I haven’t heard such creative use of the word cunt since Kurt Sutter. Kurt is that you, or one of Kurt’s Keyboard Kunt Kommandos?”

    Me: What Sutter doesn’t seem to realize is that somebody named Kurt may, just possibly, want to be less liberal in throwing around a word pronounced Kunt. (At least in the USA. Everyone of either gender gets labelled Cunt in Scotland, Ireland and some parts of England. Read James Kelman and Roddy Doyle.)

    YYZ Skinhead

  4. Rebel Says:

    Dear Julian Robertson,

    Thank you! I get it now! The scales have been lifted from my eyes! May I borrow your wise words the next time I read a review with which I don’t agree? Like, for example, I didn’t think The Lone Ranger was that bad.

    How did you put it? “The sad part is encountering people who will force themselves to watch something they hate just so they can moan about how much they hate it (you). And in my opinion, those are the worst people- the ones who feed off of their own negative energy.”

    Take that A.O. Scott!

    Thanks,

    Rebel

    P.S. I bet if I go to your house and knock, somebody stupid will answer the door.

  5. Phuquehed Says:

    @Julian – So says a cunt who comes on here just to bitch about something.

  6. Julian Robertson Says:

    I’m sure that we can all agree that not everyone likes everything. The sad part is encountering people who will force themselves to watch something they hate just so they can moan about how much they hate it (you). And in my opinion, those are the worst people- the ones who feed off of their own negative energy. And if that wasn’t enough, you choose to insult the people who do enjoy the show in some attempt to make your dick feel bigger. Maybe someday you’ll find something you do enjoy, but until then you’re not making the world any more bearable whining about the shit you don’t.

  7. One Eye Says:

    Dick Knubler said: “I’m high as a giraffe’s nutsack.

    How the fuck did I even get here, I was looking at porn when this came up as a search result. The original post is a fucking year old, the fuck google?

    Tl:dr you’re cunts, giant gaping cavernous whale cunts.

    I’m assuming the altitude in relation to the giraffe anatomy is due to being attached by your lips? You know, I haven’t heard such creative use of the word cunt since Kurt Sutter. Kurt is that you, or one of Kurt’s Keyboard Kunt Kommandos?

  8. rangerdanger Says:

    Sonny Barger has earned the right to do “fictional TV” or write a book or whatever the fuck he.wants to do. Rusty, Chuck Z, David L. All got the right to. Tdo.it as they are free and real and paid the cost. They are certainly not giving up secrets. That’s obvious. Just getting paid, having fun. Anyone with a problem can ask them about it. Just don’t be suprised at the method of answer. I prefer civilians still being scared to look at me. These guys are not being messed with in person. Trust me. They are still hard.

  9. Gee Dubb Says:

    Great Read. Bottom line for me is SOA could have been a good cartoon because cartoons are phony and meant to be so – one can excuse hyper BS in a cartoon and even appreciate it.

    Cartoons exaggerate reality so totally as to make them fun to watch. It get’s vomit inducing boring when they use real actors instead of cartoon characters to try and portray something as absurdly phony as this show even going so far as to pretend it is based on some kind of reality. It makes me feel sorry for the writers because it shows me they have not lived one ounce of real life. They might be as boring as their writing which is a true insult.

    The truth of this show is it is equally as bad and phoney if you replace the bikers with mafia types or gagsta types or whatever. And you can easily do that with the way it is generically structured and written. There is nothing biker about SOA aside from the rarely seen motorcycles which are more animated and interesting than most of the ‘characters’ and the droll dialogue.

  10. Bill Says:

    Dickgoesinya: A really good post on this whole fantasy/reality blur. I’ve seen some really funny stuff here, really funny, but nothing better than your : “Dick Knubbler’s riveting treatise” reference. Hope you weren’t talking from direct experience there, but in case you were, sounds like you’re handling the re-entry with the proper perspective.

  11. DynaRider Says:

    Mike i completely agree with you! And 71 and riding hard like a real biker you have my respect. I am 22 and feel the same way i see these guys clean as a whistle, wearing crossing guards vests, and wearing stupid ass nikes and it makes me fucking sick the Marxist bullshit education and mainstream media fucked up people’s minds. Even to this day i struggle to fight conformity but its hard at my age. What fucking happened to men taking shit out back when they got a problem? Punk ass rubs act tough then call the cops like the bitches they are or back out! That reminds me Rebel i would like to see an article on the cocksucking criminals called Iron Order people need to know about these pigs robbing charities that kept me surviving from food banks to Salvation Army.

  12. hrenai Says:

    I enjoyed your post Rebel, you are great. I have also enjoyed reading the comments! God I am laughing so hard, tears are still running down my face!! I’m not a biker, or an old lady. I do love to ride…. I just got divorced after 20 yrs of marriage. It’s all good. We are buds…. But my ride is gone. It sucks. I don’t know whether to get a bike, or a man…ha. Well….. Let’s not get into that…

    Rebel, I don’t find myself reading many blogs. But, yours is great. I read yours. You are not only well spoken; but, you have a mind of your own and the balls to disagree with the masses. Hahaha….
    That said, I love SOA. Since when is television an accurate portrayal of anything? :)

    Peace
    Heather

  13. Dick Goesinya Says:

    Well, all of it, even Dick Knubbler’s riveting treatise – all and everything, was fine, because we CAN turn off the TV and walk away.

    Unless, of course, some 1% – could be you, could be me – walks out of
    the joint, maybe spent a stretch in the hole or in super max where they
    don’t SHOW SOA.

    Maybe this cat walks out after a 7 year stretch – and he finds out
    Sonny Fucking Barger has a SAG card, is a shameless self-promoter, uses
    the club trademark to hustle a book (Hell’s Angel)), will sue you at the drop of a hat, and plays a recurring fictional role on a fictional cable TV series based on outlaw MC’s.

    That man CANNOT believe it – he CAN’T turn it off because reality and fantasy, real and unreal, truth and lies, honor and sell-out have become a spinning blur in the form of diminishing concentric circles as they are flushed down a
    huge 2 dimensional shit hole into a cesspool of greed, avarice, pettiness, envy and double-crossing.

    Can you imagine a Pagan or HAMC Quebec member doing this shit?
    I’m outta here.

  14. Dick Knubbler Says:

    So many cunts here, it’s a fucking drama, its fiction you morons. You know you don’t like the show yet you watch it for the sole purpose of talking shit in your stupid little blog? You must be very disappointed with how your life turned out, that you feel the need to shit on someone else’s work to feel better about yourself. And lol @ all the faggots who bitch about it being innacurate, what the fuck do you know? None of you are 1%er’s; you’re arguing about the authenticity of a FICTIONAL DRAMA on the comment section of some douchebags blog. What does it matter if it’s horribly inaccurate (not that I, or any of you keyboard outlaws would know), its TV. Don’t like it? Don’t watch it. Or just keep bitching about it, I don’t give a shit; I’m high as a giraffe’s nutsack.

    How the fuck did I even get here, I was looking at porn when this came up as a search result. The original post is a fucking year old, the fuck google?

    Tl:dr you’re cunts, giant gaping cavernous whale cunts.

  15. pat Says:

    the old 60’s show about bronson was more about real bike riders as goofy as it was then these shows

  16. not-a-hippie Says:

    I found the little link on top of the page and ordered the kindle book.

  17. not-a-hippie Says:

    lol—I broke down and watched SoA on Netflix. They left the US on a cargo plane, landed in occupied Ireland, and raised all sorts of hell. It’s like watching bad sci fi. Girls are pretty, though.

    My whole life I’ve been in that one percentile in everything I do and I don’t mean the upper class, ya fuckheads.

    Rebel—–where’s your book on the internet and why don’t you have a link to it on every page?

  18. Average Joe Says:

    Hey Rebel hope you don’t mind me posting this link, it’s relevant and to the point?

    Ride safe and keep shiny side up.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSWDjgyk8Aw&feature=youtu.be

  19. Rebel Says:

    Dear Once Again,

    You’re right. I know nothing. Thanks for straightening me out.

    Whatever Doc Cavazos of the Mongols, Mark Wagar of the Sons and Mike Polchan of the Outlaws have in common mostly eludes me. They all rode motorcycles?

    Hmmm. Someone with a policeman’s point of view in Eau Claire. What a whodunit! I’ll just assume you aren’t Darrin Kozlowski. Steve? Veltus? C’mon man. You can tell me. Drop me a line.

    Or are you just some guy with a motorcycle and a keyboard? Like me. I’m glad you enjoy the show.

    Rebel

  20. Phuquehed Says:

    Another SoA-lovin’ buffoon blows in and spews ignorance and tells everyone what they are and aren’t and then shows the world how brave he is by saying he won’t come back to discuss any of it. I’m going to base a theory on all these kinds of pussies and say that *all* soa-lover’s (like the fucktard Once again) are pussies and ignorant dumbshits.

  21. Once again.. Says:

    Another Late Breaking Post.

    I watch SOA and it is not anywhere near being as far from reality as you 99%ers claim to know. The problem we have here is most of you have a completely different idea of what 1% means than those who actually live the 1% lifestyle. See if all of the people that claim to be 1% were really 1% it would need to be changed to 21% (say that three times fast) Unfortunately some of the confusion lies with the perception of the 3 piece patch being a 1% designation, and the rest lies with total ignorance.

    I’m sure many of you that claim to be, or infer you are in the 1% truly believe you are a 1%. But from reading the vast majority of the above posts, I have no reason to believe any of you are. I do think some of you believe, and probably are, bad asses. But what nearly all of you forget is just what the 1% means. And it means only one thing, OUTLAW.

    If you are in a 1% club, you will have no doubts about whether you are or you are not. And believe it or not the SOA is about as close to a 1%Club as you are going to see on TV. Don’t believe it? Look into the true top 1% clubs in the USA. That is, alphabetically as to not offend, the Bandidos, Hells Angels, Outlaws, Pagans and Sons of Silence. And although you may think Sutter is a puke, or a fake or a wannabe he has the 1% lifestyle down pretty damn good. (and he is even hated by at least one diamond patch club for “stealing an episode from a real deal”)Well at least the 1%ers that are on the ATF’s radar.

    Because there is so much information available on the internet now you can look up true 1%ers with no problem. Like Doc Cavazos, Mark Wagar or Mike Polchan. Notice what they all have in common and you’ll get the picture of the 1% lifestyle.

    So hate the show for not being what your idealistic bike club might look like, but at least hate it for the right reasons.

    And from here, you can call me whatever you want, claim whatever you want, because I’ll not be back to read it nor to reply to any of it.

    Peace Brother.

  22. brooker Says:

    I have an SOA patch hanging upside down in my house – told the guy i liberated it from it was an insult o 1%er’s and back patch holders as a whole, his response ? “What’s a 1%er ?”.
    Speaking of television bastadizing motorcycle subculture has anyone seen the abomination on TNA wrestling (the MC who don’t ride bikes) ?

  23. Tooj Says:

    It’s the Interwebz and you can’t go around treating it seriously… until you do.

  24. slycechyx Says:

    I think we have all watched a couple shows out of curiosity & when it first started, was hopeful it would show the true life. It turned into cheesy, over the top & down right ridiculous.

  25. rollinnorth Says:

    This Avenger has me smelling bacon.
    FTF FTP.

    Respect.

  26. One Eye Says:

    @Avenger: Your post doesn’t really make any sense.

    a)I can only speak for myself, but I’m quite confident that the prevailing consensus here is that we read Rebel’s articles because we enjoy his writing. If he wrote an article about inane responses I would read that, wouldn’t you? You should get his books, they are well written and very interesting. I’m half way through The Working Press and I want to ask Rebel if Elmer Fudd’s breath really did smell like glue?

    b)A subject need not have any significance in one’s life to utter disdain about it or critique it.

    c)I don’t need to be apprised that it’s “frickin'” entertainment as much much as I know that it’s fucking lame entertainment. Perhaps I don’t give a rat’s ass about the other shows you cited, because I’m not a forensic scientist, or especially, Grey’s Anatomy (they us the British spelling of grey) because I don’t really care about doctor stuff.

    Thanks for the advice; I will try to get over myself, but it won’t be easy. Once the weather breaks there will be plenty of riding to forget all about television. You do ride, right? Oh, and fuck the beer, I’d prefer a nice Irish whiskey

  27. Phuquehed Says:

    @Avenger – If you’d pay a little more attention and perhaps somehow learn a little more reading comprehension, you fucktard, those who do post about it at all are those who say they watch it because it’s more like a comedy than anything else and they *say* they watch it for the ‘car crash’ entertainment.

    The others have only bashed it because they see it as nothing but a shit way to depict ‘reality’ in the biker world because it’s doing it so incorrectly that it’s influencing the way the sheeple think about those of us in the biker world more than it should (btw, I have no teevee…haven’t had one now for something like two years, so Rebels article – and one youspew video – gave me more than enough to base my opinion of this shit show on).

    So, now that you’ve been schooled on how to pull your head from your ass, let’s see if you like the stench of being up there better or fresh air. Fucking imbecile.

  28. Avenger Says:

    Can you people even hear yourself? Don’t you realize just how important this show is to you? It’s clearly important enough to get hundreds of posts from people claiming to hate it and how they couldn’t give a shit about it. If that was true, you wouldn’t have taken the time to read Rebel’s post and you sure as hell wouldn’t have taken the time to respond.

    Get over yourself. It’s frickin entertainment….no more, no less. I suppose you hate Big Bang Theory with a passion and perhaps Two and a Half Men. Clearly those shows are shit. And what about those CSI shows and Gray’s Anatomy. Just think how those shows must seem to real doctors and investigators. You really don’t have to let this occupy so much of your time.

    And by the way, how do those of you who don’t watch the show know so much about it? Yeah, that’s what I thought. I’ll bring the beer over next time it’s on.

  29. Zoe Says:

    Late to the game.

    You’re obviously not the only person that is part of a subculture that is misrepresented by hollywood.
    But the fact is that it does come from hollywood and they’re not in the business of providing the facts, they provide entertainment. And SOA delivers.

  30. Jim666 Says:

    Chaynes76

    Sounds like you know what your talkin about,
    Wow !

  31. Chaynes76 Says:

    I am an Afro American & I like the show, I think it entertaining but that is where it should be left @, I never been in an club although I have been attracted to the mc life since i was kid in the hood seeing the Soul Survivors MC roll around our town. Anyone who knows clubs or have atleast researched MC LIFE would know it about freedom, they know that being and “Outlaw or 1% is about being your own man not being an criminal. Please do not take this show as a lesson in the life, ask a real biker getting info from this show is about as bad as getting info from Gangland. SAMCRO & Gangland it is only entertainment.

    P.S.In real life, Damon Pope would of been killed before the end of episode by anyon who calls themselves a father,

  32. IEmatt Says:

    So I tried and tried but just can’t get it. Hollywood has got it half way. I watched the first two seasons. I retired at San Quentin and half a wife that looks at that and wonders which charichtor I was like. Hey it’s a brotherhood!!!! Not entertainment. They are trying to be like us? Not like me. I wish I could have someone on TV who lived like we did…Right PJ? We did it for real. Lived the life, some did time like me. Some of my beloved brothers are still in it for the long haul. Till death do us part, I know my place, where I was and where I stand for life……….SOA is not real, they all go home to the Hollywood life, we never really go home, we are always true to the name, true to our colors and always ready to do what is necessary to be true ONE PERCENTERS.

  33. IEmatt Says:

    I stopped watching after checking in now and then the first 2 seasons. After a while it was just to see if they ever got it right. I just could not identify with any of them. It has been ages since I retired. Perhaps all this high altitude Nor-Cal is fogging my head. U-tell me, were we really that predictable?

  34. One Eye Says:

    OK, I so I like to watch these videos that are linked on Aging Rebel and one that I recently watched was the WTF Sutter. Those are minutes I will never recover. Perhaps he should script his talk because if he got paid the “uh” he would never have to work a day in his life. The ADD kicks in and,”this season will, uh, be uh, oh is that a bunny?!”

    Kurt is quite adamant in letting everyone know what a bad ass he is; when the fans hear him say fuck and cunt, discover he’s from Jersey and they will KNOW he’s a serious man. I will give him this though, he does shit on his letter writers in a condescending fashion, but they’ll forgive him. The bird is a nice touch, though; when they’re together you can see a real battle of wits shaping up.

  35. Phuquehed Says:

    Nothing’s worth repeating about the soa…it’s not even worth the mention in the first place, heh.

  36. Johno Says:

    Sorry, guys. Double clicked the send button. Still if something’s worth saying, I suppose it’s worth repeating.

  37. Johno Says:

    Hey guys.

    Just teasing. A bit of British tongue in cheek banter. I actually have a lot of respect for Harley horsepower-must hitch one up to a plough sometime and put it to some good use. My Thunderbird leaks too much oil in the furrows!
    No, Rebel. Johno isn’t an American name, or British for that matter, it’s Austrailian. It was bestowed on me in the army by an Austrailian SAS guy when I was serving as an Ammuniton Technician in the Royal Logistics Corp. Johno is an abbreviation of “Johno The Blade”.
    I earned my moniker one morning when I decided that the best way to test if the battery on my Wheelbarrow was charged would be to bridge the terminals with my bayonet and watch the sparks. It exploded. DOH! And I had to run–half blinded by battery acid and pulling bits of plastic shrapnel out of my face–to the cook house; scraming for water. The first guy to …erm… help, was this Austrailian who gave me a coke! Have you ever tried to was acid out of your eyes with Coke?
    Anyway, to cut a long story short, when I told him what a dick I`d been, he laughed like fuck and Johno The Blade was born. I`ve since come up with some great war stories to explain the scars to women I dont want to think of me as a complete twat. The name, I tell them mirrors my dashing, suave and rakish character.
    So, alls well that ends well.
    But, to get back on track, don’t come down too hard on SOA–even though it is, now, pretty much how the British public percieve ALL bikers and not just 1%ers–do wonder why The Sons don’t get involved in charity runs, volunteer work and paying taxes and taking care of our homes and families like the majority of us bad-asses, though–and save it for Mr.Sutters lastest load of bollocks: Outlaw Empires.

    Respect and Regards,

    Johno

  38. Johno Says:

    Hey guys.

    Just teasing. A bit of British tongue in cheek banter. I actually have a lot of respect for Harley horsepower-must hitch one up to a plough sometime and put it to some good use. My Thunderbird leaks too much oil in the furrows!
    No, Rebel. Johno isn’t an American name, or British for that matter, it’s Austrailian. It was bestowed on me in the army by an Austrailian SAS guy when I was serving as an Ammuniton Technician in the Royal Logistics Corp. Johno is an abbreviation of “Johno The Blade”.
    I earned my moniker one morning when I decided that the best way to test if the battery on my Wheelbarrow was charged would be to bridge the terminals with my bayonet and watch the sparks. It exploded. DOH! And I had to run–half blinded by battery acid and pulling bits of plastic shrapnel out of my face–to the cook house; scraming for water. The first guy to …erm… help, was this Austrailian who gave me a coke! Have you ever tried to was acid out of your eyes with Coke?
    Anyway, to cut a long story short, when I told him what a dick I`d been, he laughed like fuck and Johno The Blade was born. I`ve since come up with some great war stories to explain the scars to women I dont want to think of me as a complete twat. The name, I tell them mirrors my dashing, suave and rakish character.
    So, alls well that ends well.
    But, to get back on track, don’t come down too hard on SOA–even though it is, now, pretty much how the British public percieve ALL bikers and not just 1%ers–do wonder why The Sons don’t involved in charity runs, volunteer work and paying taxes and taking care of our homes and families like the majority of us bad-asses, though–and save it for Mr.Sutters lastest load of bollocks: Outlaw Empires.

    Respect and Regards,

    Johno

  39. Phuquehed Says:

    I’ve had my Dyna tapped out at the 120mph mark on the interstate once and was only about 3/4 throttle (it’s an ’09). I can get to 90mph in no time with *lots* of throttle left. So Johno, you brit/whatever-the-fuck fucktard, your bullshit trolling was wasted here.

  40. Sieg Says:

    da, Rebel! Johno is good Amerikanskya name, fuckink! Is how my friends are all talking me! I am ridink a Ural, is VERY difficult fuckink over 75 taking it!!! I am thinkink I should be having a Dyna such as yours!

  41. PigPen Says:

    Frequent Flyer
    haha i gotta admit, you make me shit laughing sometimes.

  42. Grumbler Says:

    @Rebel – Have heard that it isn’t an altogether rare occurrence to see a preponderence of Dynas parked at Neptune’s Net with laydown license plates and FF helmets.

    @Johno – A reasonably stock Dyna should hit 115mph plus. SOA isn’t a Ton-Up Boys/Rockers drama based at the Ace Cafe in London. Yeah, limeys were fairly popular with patch holders, especially on the right coast, in the ’60s before dwindling away in the ’70s.

  43. Rebel Says:

    Dear Johno,

    Is Johno an American name? I ride a Dyna Super Glide. I go ninety all the time.

    Rebel

  44. Johno Says:

    Can a Harley get up to 92 mph? Man up Sutter put em on a Triumph!

  45. Frequent Flyer Says:

    Jelly Says:
    September 21st, 2012 at 9:28 am
    I rev my engine at some red lights and so does every other bike. I added exhaust wrap, drag bars, and removed the baffles all for look and sound.
    —————–

    Be honest.

    You’re balls deep in another man right now, aren’t you?

  46. Frequent Flyer Says:

    MWMC Says:
    September 18th, 2012 at 8:29 pm
    Rebel,
    Greetings friend, do not mean to induce early cardiac arrest, but hell has frozen over.

    Real SOA, New Jersey, shit you not. Sighted flying freely.

    Website is as follows:

    http://www.sonsofanarchynj.com/

    L&R
    MEN OF WAR MC

    _________

    Holy crap, that is embarrassingly stupid! That is almost as bad that that dude who was a grown man who insisted he was a baby and wantedto be treated like one.

  47. Markus Says:

    I know that SOA is fiction.
    In Germany have the bikerscene big problems.
    We have the Hells Angels the Bandidos the Outlwas, this are the American 1%er. We have also the Gremium mc as the biggest German 1%er mc.
    The angels and the bandidos have the most problems with the German police an law.
    I learn that a mc is for life and not a game. But now in Germany many bandidos leave here MC , sometimes a complete charter, and make a patch over to the 81. I don’t think that this is the right way. But the problem is most of this guys are not biker. Here it goes only for business. Love loyaltie and respect? In the eyes of some 1%er these words are just sonic and smoke not more and that make me sad. Sometimes I miss the old times in Germany

  48. Catherine Says:

    I love Sons of Anarchy. That being said, I’m so far removed from that fictitious world they could ride buffalos and I wouldn’t blink. It is just entertainment, and I’m really quite intrigued by your take on it. I’d just like to commend you on disliking something in such an intelligent and literate way. It’s worthy of respect.

  49. rollinnorth Says:

    I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at the latest “Special Collectors Issue” #194 of Outlaw Biker rag. WTF?!
    Hollywood rots your brain, I guess.

    Respect.

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