It is time to get dirty SAMCRO fans. Your leader commands you.
This morning Kurt Sutter, the man behind the favorite television show of all real bikers including Anarchists, Mayans, the Irish Republican Army and so on twittered, “after tomorrow night’s episode, @directv will be pulling FX from your dial. kill DTV and change service providers before episode 409.”
I know most of you are shocked but yes, even The Aging Rebel is on twitter.
And also DirecTV, the satellite television provider, is once again threatening to black out whole cable networks unless they get their price – whatever that price is. Kurt (aka Otto) did not say. But if Otto is tweeting about this issue it must be important.
We Can Help
The Aging Rebel is here to help.
The soulless and evil empire of DirecTV is headquartered on Imperial Highway in El Segundo, California which is roughly equidistant between The Aging Rebel newsroom and Bartels Harley-Davidson in almost the exact spot where Rebel scraped up his Thunderheaders and broke his pipe bracket making a right turn just a couple of years back. I always suspected that had something to do with DirecTV.
The President of this soulless and thoroughly evil institution called DirecTV is a scoundrel named Michael White (photo above). White previously ran Pepsi Cola and he doesn’t look so tough to me.
So, as a public service to millions of Sons of Anarchy fans The Aging Rebel hereby offers to stop by this robber baron’s office and chat with him in a frank and cogent manner about the disrespect he has shown to all of you fans. All each of you has to do is get 400 friends to each get 400 friends to come to this page and click on any of our fine ads. As soon as the servers crash I promise to successfully negotiate on your behalf and I promise to win. I swear to you I will guarantee that your cause will prevail no matter what bargaining tactics – bolt cutters, battery chargers, propane torches – I must employ to ensure your…no make that OUR… ultimate victory.
Wait There’s More
But in case I don’t, in case the security guards want to know where I am going with those bolt cutters and do I have an appointment, I want you, my target demographic, you noble Sons of Anarchy enthusiasts, to know that for however long you must go without the best biker show since Gangland, I will be there for you.
Starting with Episode 409, every Wednesday The Aging Rebel will run a weekly synopsis of the episode you cannot see because you will not do what you must to get me to convince Mike White to what he must do to make me stop.
You know I mean it. You have The Aging Rebel guarantee. Now get on the phone and call 400 of your friends.