Myrtle Beach Ticket Fest

May 4, 2010


The ghost of Myrtle Beach will haunt South Carolina starting this Friday.

Optimists who can see what skeptics cannot want you to know that, “Myrtle Beach Bike Week, Grand Strand Spring Rally, Grand Strand Rally, Cruisin’ The Coast Spring Rally, Murrells Inlet Spring Rally Whatever you want to call this event IS ON!” and will continue through May 16th.

Also according to the press release, “approximately 300,000 people make their way to the rally area for the 10-day event. The festivities include motorcycle racing, vendors, concerts, and parties. The event contends with the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally as one of the most popular motorcycle rallies in the United States.”

Myrtle Beach Hates You

For years, Myrtle Beach was one of the six major bike runs in North America. They are all named for the cities that host them: Daytona in the Fall, Daytona in the Spring, Laughlin, Laconia and Sturgis. They all attract at least 30,000 visitors. Every August, the metropolitan area of Sturgis seems to expand down to Cheyenne on the south, Gilette to the west, Pierre on the east and Belle Fourche to the north. And, last year about 300,000 bikers wandered around that expanse of buffalo grass and bugs.

But there will not be 300,000 bikers in Myrtle Beach this weekend. There is no more Myrtle Beach. Myrtle Beach was outlawed after the last rally in 2008 because bikers are often rowdy and sometimes dangerous and their motorcycles are loud.

What will be happening in Myrtle Beach this weekend is something called May Fest. May Fest is your opportunity to:

“Take pictures and get autographs from some of your favorite celebrities including Catherine Bell of Army Wives; Alex Meraz of Twilight: New Moon; Nathan Kress of tween favorite iCarly and many others! Enjoy free, family friendly concerts by award-winning artists including, American Idol season six winner Jordin Sparks along with Hannah Montana’s Mitchel Musso, American soul singer and ‘Stand By Me’ writer and performer Ben E. King, legendary Blues man Buddy Guy and more!”

If this all sounds like something you don’t want to miss be sure to leave your motorcycle at home.

What “whatever you want to call this event” really is a domestic dispute between a group of business owners called BOOST, which is an acronym for “Business Owners Organized To Save Tourism,” and everyone else in Myrtle Beach. What BOOST suggests you do is go to Myrtle Beach without actually entering the city limits of Myrtle Beach. Because, as even BOOST will concede, any biker stupid enough to actually enter the city limits this weekend will be thrown on his face at one of many “courtesy safety checkpoints,” his bike will be seized and melted down for scrap and he will be roasted on a spit.


The same laws local authorities used to get bikers last year remain in effect this year. The helmet law has been brought before the South Carolina Supreme Court. It has not yet been overturned. BOOST hopes the helmet law will be overturned before Friday. Don’t count on it. Even if the local helmet law is overturned, Myrtle Beach still has lots of other laws that are specifically intended to harass you and anybody who is willing to sell you beer.

These laws include:

• Ordinance 2008-57 declares motorcycle rallies to be nuisances and authorizes the police to sue to recover any costs they may incur as a result of these nuisances.

• Ordinance 2008-58 proclaims that even if the rally is not held in Myrtle Beach, if participants go there, and the police arrest those participants, the rally organizers are liable for the costs of those arrests.

• Ordinance 2008-63 declares it illegal to loiter in a city park. Think about it. You can no longer loiter in a city park. What exactly is the point of a park if you cannot loiter in it?

• Ordinance 2008-64 is the Myrtle Beach helmet law. In the rest of South Carolina, if you are over 21-years-old, you can wear any hat you want when you ride your motorcycle. Unlike every other state in the union, all helmets in Myrtle Beach must be provably DOT certified. If any cop thinks your helmet is not DOT certified then it is not.

• Ordinance 2008-71 says that while you are in town the police may be authorized by the mayor to act as judges.

• Ordinance 2008-66 says that while you are in the state, convenience stores must hire security guards. While you are in town, if the store doesn’t hire a guard they cannot sell you a burrito.

• Ordinance 2008-68 says that if your motorcycle has aftermarket exhaust pipes , or if your pipes do not have a Federal Environmental Protection Agency Stamp, or if a cop determines that the sound of you motorcycle exceeds 83 decibels your motorcycle will be impounded and stored at your expense until the police actually see you load it on a trailer and haul it out of town.

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22 Responses to “Myrtle Beach Ticket Fest”

  1. pretjah Says:

    Delmarva Bike Week is more fun anyhow!


    P.S. I want to thank all of you that have given us the last two years of support and did not let these selfish elitist simply run you off pouting with your no balls between your legs. Thank you for the Boycott and Mayhem. Thank you for the fight, but with no money for the vendors they cannot afford to return and that means that we too will be moving on. Sad but true. So it went from Boycott and Mayhem, to not a dime in 09 to the final chapter which is NOT A DIME TILL THE END OF TIME. The town is dead to me and many other and the rest of the Grand Strand will never be the same. But the financial Mayhem that we served them with our boycott will live on for many years. So we should all be so very proud that we gave them two years of showing up, riding and spending no money. We did not just run away. We let them see just how wrong they were and now that they understand how bad they messed up, we now leave on our own terms. We had 70 years 68 of which were the best. Please remember those of us that are stuck living here on the Grand Strand that still have to live with these kinds of elitist haters.


    The South Carolina Supreme Court is conveniently waiting until after black bike week to release its ruling overturning the bike ordinances. Lots of us are riding all around Myrtle Beach inside city limits and are not being harassed the same way we were last year. The vendor outside city limits say they are not making the money and will not be coming back so this could be the last year of the event although I have heard that now that Myrtle Beach is no longer harassing bikers, being as the politicians now realize how bad they messed up it is too little too late. The black bikers can and should take advantage of this wonderful opportunity to stay at those $200.00 a night hotel rooms which now go for $40.00 a night and Myrtle Beach will not harass them either because the town is trying to work with the NAACP to help bring back two lost basketball sporting events. How is that for Ironic Karma? They can hang out on the new boardwalk and it is not considered loitering. They should have a blast with this one.

  4. YYZ Skinhead Says:

    Aside from overlooking the “citizens peaceably assembling” clause in some mysterious, long-forgotten American document, these un-geniuses are shooting themselves in the crotch. “Biker party” weekends bring shitloads of dough to municipalities, hotels and small businesses.

    YYZ Skinhead

  5. DirtyBruin Says:

    tmfp: What a shock that a motorcycle club would put on a motorcycle rally, eh? A friend of mine has been to the Bulldog Bash and it sounds like fun … as long as one is not picked out as a “virgin.” :)

  6. Snow Says:

    I never said it was pretty, truthfully sometimes things get really ugly, but lots of fun and welcoming to bikers…

  7. I.J Says:

    Month of May? Great opportunities? Hell I’m sold….. I’m leaving the bike at home and taking the Golf Clubs!

  8. tmfp Says:

    300,000?? We get 30,000 at the Bulldog Bash weekend in the U.K. and they spent over $2 million on policing it last year, after trying to shut it down in court because it’s a HA run event and they are – guess what – an ‘organised crime group’, according to the Old Bill.
    The Domestic Terrorists MC has a certain ring to it.

  9. docb Says:

    ok Mayor, you’ve been warned…………. don’t show up for this one,
    I’ve got people on the road

  10. docb Says:

    While working the floor in a bar years ago I had to put a guy out. He was a little guy, so I just put him over my shoulder and carried him out. When I set him on the ground and backed away he says. ” ok mother fucker if I can’t come in there, you can’t come out here.”

    I’m making the same deal to the Mayor of Mertyl Beach. ” If I can’t go to Mertyl Beach he can’t come to Little Sturgis Ky.

    Nya Nya Nya


  11. sled tramp Says:

    I enjoyed the Testical Festival in Red Rock Montana a few years ago.(Nooooooo Rad4Ever….it’s not a weiner grabfest for your guys…).
    I’ve never wanted to take over a town although a buddy of mine bought one in Missouri a few years ago.I HAVE always wanted to be in one of those bar fights in westerns where EVERYONE is getting it on. (Noooooo Rad4Ever…not that kind of getting it on..just ’cause your guys wear chaps…GEEEEZZZ)…
    I too am sick of “all the drunk, fat, ugly, nekkid women I can stomach”. I have one of those magic mirrors on my sled.The kind where they look like Sandra Bullock coming up and Rosanne Barr alongside.
    I’ve never gone to bed with an ugly woman but I keep waking up to ’em…wonder why that is…?
    I figure you spend 150 bucks on gas going to a big event,25 on a tent or poncho,and gawd knows how much being a ticket magnet which is all those things seem like these days.Tickets and T shirts…

  12. RVN69 Says:

    Sounds like fun at first, then the responsibilty sets in, which stores to sack, which houses to pillage, which virgins to sacrifice, and that just ruins everything.

    “What are you rebelling against Johnny?”
    “What ya got?”
    Si vis Pacem, Parabellum.

  13. Chief Says:

    I have lived in the Carolinas for years and attended the MB rally up until 2008. Fuck those sorry bluehairs and wanna-be golf pro wankers. I started going to the outer banks bike week in NC. Much better time and everybody is friendly.

  14. Rebel Says:

    Dear RVN69,

    I have always wanted to actually take over a town, personally. But that’s just me.


  15. BOGART Says:


    you right the ROT rally is a grown up party and at nite it gets ugly alot of people should stay dressed but 6th street was a blast and bike nite at some of the bar was fun would go back ………….

  16. TigGirl Says:

    ROT – I’ve seen all the drunk, fat, ugly, nekkid women I can stomach. 6th street is always a fun experience, but the actual rally? blech.

  17. Snow Says:

    ROT, Memorial Day Blowout in Gulfport,Ms, Bama Bike Fest in Forkland Al. are all good fun and welcome us with open arms, party hardy…….

  18. Stoney Says:

    Well no lost. If your in the south east Angle City in Unidilla Ga. is starting to hold rallys and is a great place to party and hang out. It geared for bikers by bikers and I’ve gone to 3 events and have had a great time each time. Google them and see what they offer. Spend our money were were wanted not on some assholes out to squeze every penny out our pocket.

  19. Damon Says:

    Buddy Guy, you say?

  20. SKREEECH Says:

    More often than not, that’s why I’ve started staying away from the “big” events. There’s still a couple I’ll hit like Vegas, or ROT, but for the most part I find that it’s become a bunch of hippie rubs out playing biker for the weekend. Not to mention, as in Myrtle Beach, we become “extra revenue” for the local municipality.

    Don’t get me wrong, I love going and seeing some of the clubs out filling support booths and rider education programs and the such. The genuine craftsman that are their hawking their own wears. But really… $35-$60 bucks a rider to get into a parking lot full of over priced shit that I have no intention of buying? $5 or more for a beer? Where’s the fun?

    Give me an old school rally any day of the week. Tents in a field, good music, cheap beer, poker runs, naughty nightie contests, skills competitions, and the like.

  21. RVN69 Says:

    I think we should do what these people want and go elsewhere and spend our money where it is wanted. I would recommend attending any event hosted by your local motorcycle club. All the old major events are gone, for me Daytona ended in 83 when the spring breakers started showing up, Laconia, Sturgis and Myrtle Beach ended with the great Rub population explosion of the nineties. The Harley Rendezvous ended when they banned colors, and the AMJAM finally pulled the plug due to police harrasment. Go to the Horse smokeout while it is still around, or one of the “anti” big event events like “Little Sturgis” around here, have a good time with real people.

    Respect to all that have earned it
    Si vis Pacem, Parabellum.

  22. Snow Says:

    Fuck em, never been, will never go, to many people want us to come visit to waste money on assholes who don’t want us, dry up and blow away MB

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