Abandon all hope. It’s not over until Paul Senior says it’s over. American Chopper is coming back.
Two months ago the cable television network TLC announced that the inexplicably popular “biker reality” show was being cancelled because, as inexplicably influential journalist Perez Hilton put it, “Who watches this thing?”
TLC issued a statement that read, “The Teutuls will always be a part of the Discovery family and we congratulate them on a tremendously successful series run.” And, those rash words gave some gullible people hope
Just in case you are totally lost and yet, inexplicably, you are still reading you should know that TLC is one of the “Discovery Networks.” The Teutuls are the zany trio of borderline personalities who star in the show American Chopper. Individually, their names are Paul Senior, Paulie Junior and Mikey. And people watch the show because they think it is fun when these irresistible rascals try to fit a half-inch socket onto the end of three-eighths inch ratchet.
What do you mean it keeps falling off?! You’re an idiot!
I not a idiot! You a idiot!
Just snap it into the thing! The thing! (Spitting) I didn’t say your thing! THE THING!
Why won’t you ever let me create?
(Voice rising) You’re an idiot!
Look! I bought a can of orange soda!
Great isn’t it? It is sparkling moments like these that make the show so hard to resist if you are in jail and your wife is mad and she won’t bring your bail and this is what the guards want to watch. These lovable and interesting people also build motorcycles that usually look like something other than motorcycles – like fire engines or jet fighters or leaf blowers or snow shovels. And they are very working class and blue collar except that thanks to this television show they are now richer than the Rolling Stones.
You Won’t Want To Miss
This summer the Orange County Choppers “crew” will open a restaurant next to company headquarters.
Last season on American Chopper Paul Senior fired Paul Junior and according to a press release the two have not spoken for a year. In this year’s fabricated story line Paul Junior must prove himself to Paul Senior before Paul Senior will yell at him again.
This resurrected version of the show will be titled American Chopper: Senior versus Junior. And also, apparently last year Mikey went out for a walk and he is still lost.
Production on the new season begins next week.