This might be your second in a lifetime opportunity! It turns out that Markus, the gigolo that the Shady Lady Ranch hired to service all those sexually frustrated women out here in the west, just wasn’t man enough.
Or possibly Bobbi Davis, madam d’hotel at the Shady Lady, worked out her marketing plan for Markus after about eight Margaritas one night while she and the girls were sitting around the parlor watching Brokeback Mountain. It must have been the margaritas. Bobbi seems to have missed the idea of that movie.
The whole time he worked there, Markus only had “about ten” women. And one of them was a reporter for the New York Post named Mandy Stadtmiller. (See video below.) “The Post had to have a go at this gigolo,” Stadtmiller promised at the top of her story. Fourteen hundred words later, after christening Markus the “prostidude,” all she really wanted to do was escape.
God Bless The New York Post
Stadtmiller, inexplicably, has not yet been nominated for a Pulitzer Prize for her piece. (Yeah. Piece. I actually get complaints when I do a story like this and don’t say something like that. Continue to pay close attention.)
Stadtmiller reports that when she suggested to Markus that he might be more romantic he replied “Let me think. Like what, like being on a horse ranch?” And, Markus also confided that he knows he is good at pleasuring women because he is good at “pronunciating” words.
So the reader is left to ponder the mystery of how Markus failed. What could have gone haywire with this fool proof entrepreneurial scheme?
Possibly Markus just did not believe in himself enough. “Women don’t want sex so much as companionship,” Markus confessed to Stadtmiller. “Women can be a prostitute. But not men.” You know, like some men look at a giant, steaming, quivering rocket ship about to blast off for the moon and ask why. While other men ask, why not.
In fact, the Las Vegas Review-Journal reports that after Markus left the Shady Lady to return to his first passion, the adult entertainment industry, he was replaced by a gentleman actually named “Y. Not.” That’s right, he spells his name like a text message. But then, an unfortunate electrical problem at the brothel (don’t even ask – just let your imagination go) forced the Shady Lady to lay off “Y.Not.” So temporarily the place is back down to just women again.
Operators Are Standing By
But the brothel hopes to have another “prostidude” up and working by June.
If you are proud of your “pronunciating” or have other skills, you should know that the Shady Lady offers “a safe, clean, and fun experience into the world of legal prostitution, and the experience of a lifetime!” The whorehouse is located a short 150 miles north of Las Vegas and a mere 31 miles north of Beatty, about halfway between Death Valley and Area 51, on Highway 95 in Petticoat Junction. Sober people look at Petticoat Junction and see a junkyard but when drunk people look they see a romantic ghost town.
The Shady Lady has been “voted Best Small Brothel for seven consecutive years” So, if President Obama’s stimulus money hasn’t found you yet and you think you might be interested in helping America grow its economy, why not call the whorehouse at either 775-553-9100 or 866-301-5855 and tell them you think you have what it takes to be their new prostidude.