Attention Pretty Bitch

November 3, 2009

All Posts, News

And, now on the lighter side of the news. Way lighter.

Despite all my most sincere efforts, Sons of Anarchy has still not been cancelled. In fact, it is starting to look like it never will be.

Some guy in West Hollywood who is not Brad Pitt told me that Kurt Sutter’s homage to us is the “top-rated scripted cable series in the key 18 to 49-year-old demographic” and that it is getting better ratings than Jay Leno’s show. I don’t watch Leno either so I don’t know if that is good or not.

Tonight is the ninth episode of the year for the most astounding biker show ever. And the episode is titled “Fa Guan” which means “judge” in Mandarin. Why this episode is titled with the Mandarin word for judge probably epitomizes everything I do not get about this fine example of television mass marketing. I am not sure that you are even supposed to watch this show if you happen to know the Mandarin words for judge.

For the record, I can say, “Not guilty, your honor” in many tongues.

Wait For It

I have read that tonight the club’s investment in a porn studio goes broke so somebody named “Clay pushes for a greater emphasis on gun running. Meanwhile, the Clay-Jax schism grows even wider.” No. I don’t know what they are talking about. Not a clue.

As I remember it, this California club is buying guns from the IRA. They are not selling guns to a club in Massachusetts or Maine which then sells the guns to the IRA. No. No. The Irish lads are selling guns to America. Ooh, my head hurts. Oh no! Oh no!

Sometimes I have psychic episodes, you know? Doesn’t everybody? When I thought too long about importing guns from Ireland to America I got a glimpse of my own funeral! And some jackass is playing the theme song from Sons of Anarchy on a boom box! And…I…am…dead…and…I…can’t…get…up! Make it stop! Make it stop!

Where was I? I wonder if this episode will feature a gun show in Arizona? What do you think? Ooh, my head! Make it stop!

Where was I? Oh yeah. I mention this now only because I know some of you really love this piece o’ crap and I am trying to be nice to you. One friend of this page, I happen to know, particularly loves to look at Charlie Hunnum naked.

Oh Charlie He’s So Fine

Pretty Bitch, set your DVR. Tonight Hunnum takes another shower. I do not know if he takes the shower with a Chinese judge or as a part of a porno movie or at a gun show or what. Okay? You tell me when you get the chance.

But tonight Charlie takes his clothes off. Again. So head’s up.

Oh, my head! Make it stop!

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242 Responses to “Attention Pretty Bitch”

  1. Grumbler Says:

    Reality King: Flame away boys, I don’t really give a fuck.

    Brings to mind the official motto of the Denizens of Doom “Live to Flame — Flame to Live” from my old NG days. If we’d all post as if talking IRL (In Real Life) WADR (With All Due Respect), that pool of Keyboard Commandos would be like a fart in a whirlwind.

    This is a classic:

  2. sled tramp Says:

    Hey! I was only an hour away up north.Ya shoulda called!
    Reality King,
    “So what Ron Pearlman can’t ride, most of you fucks can’t act”.
    LMAO…Well, I fake it in bed….geeeezzz…if I can’t bitch about something , I won’t have anything to say…

  3. Mikonos Says:

    Reality King, “most of you fucks”? Really? Who is the flamer? I will respond in a very structured manner so as not to set off your sensitive fire detector:

    1) If you carefully read the thread you will notice about 5% of it could be classifed as “flaming”. The balance is different opinions and points of view being pretty well articulated.

    2)You use the word fuck in your posts way more than necessary. Interesting that Kurt Sutter has that same problem.

    3) “Most of the members are riding Dynas or FXR’s”: Ok, I’m going to defer to others on this. My theory is if you listed all the bikes that all the clubs ride 30% at most, would be dyna/FXR and frankly most would be older style FXR’s with some work done and not stock Harley with an iddy biddy fairing and black out kits….probably some stretched backbones, modified rake, minor stuff your really couldn’t see.

    4) The show does get the push pull right. It actually has had some real moments. The Fa Guan episode of the original post was extremely well done with the scene with the judge. My problem is it started really strong and declined as the ratings went up. I think the producer let the show go to his head and lost his focus/discipline. It STILL has a lot of potential. BTW, I don’t have a problem with any of the actors that are not pretending to be bikers, only Sutter is doing this.

    5)You sort of make my argument in the last half of the post, that the show is bullshit BUT I can live with all of that stuff and write it off as entertainment. Yes, its good they hire club members instead of yuppies. My issue is Sutter thinks bikers are stupid and he can manipulate them any way he wants to tell the story how he wants to tell it. Read his blog, the “story” is exploring the dark corners of Kurt Sutters mind, or telling a story about a family with the club as the backdrop, not about bikers and clubs.

    6) Happy your a chapter P of a 1% club. You win the dick length competition in this forum.


  4. Reality King Says:

    All valid points. I never said it was good, I just said it was entertaining..:-)
    The only thing I know about Sutter is that he gets a chance to do the things to Peg Bundy that I have been dreaming of for like…20 years?
    Have a good one-

  5. Rebel Says:

    Dear Mikonos,

    I ride a Dyna. Dynas are cheap! Me like Dynas! What mean Fa Guan?

    And, I sort of think Kurt Sutter is just trying to get paid. He might be infatuated with this sub-culture but I am not sure he is exactly trying to manipulate anybody. I think he is just commodifying this little slice of Americana. I would love to talk to the guy but he seems to be more inaccessible than Kozlowski. I would love to ask him why this subculture? What does he think is so interesting about here now? What does he think people like about his show? Are people trying to vicariously live a different life than they have? Are we the wide open spaces? Is the biker subculture the last of the American frontier? That’s what I think.

    You still out there Kurt? Can you here me partner? Don’t be afraid. I won’t hurt you.

    your pal,

  6. Rebel Says:

    Dear Rough Rider,

    Have your coyote totem spirit call my coyote totem spirit.


  7. ruffrider Says:

    sled tramp

    I’m up that way quite a bit when the weather aint too bad. Usually no farther than Albany then I either go to the coast or inland but it is one of my favorite time killers. Mabe we’ll cross trails. I’ll be the Old fat guy on the road king with the I don’t want to know you look on his face (says my wife) but it aint necessarly true. I’ll buy you a beer

  8. ruffrider Says:

    I’ll do that

  9. Mikonos Says:

    Rebel, agreed. Part of my issue is I tried to get paid in the bike biz and lost. And I tried to respect all parties in the process. But I lost…a lot. So admittedly there is a some personal stuff regarding the fact that he built a great business franchise quickly and why didn’t I succeed. Just being straight up.

    I think he could tone it down a bit especially with the corporate world but who the hell am I anyway.

    I tried to get your type of questions answered by playing nice-nice on his blog and got told to fuck off about 6 times. So I told him I realized I was unwelcome and I would no longer post.

    I have issues. The arguments on this site I have with myself, I mumble and argue all the time, alone.

    That said, this site keeps my knife sharp (on both sides) and takes the painful edge off my day job although I’m starting a new one soon that will hopefully be better.

    Don’t want to sound all California new thinking here but the site is sort of therapeutic…

    Reality King, thanks for sticking around. This blog is a bit of an intellectual bar fight but its moderated and controlled and nobody is better or smarter than anyone else. Even Fayattenom Hoe is a smart character although I have to read his posts like a dozen times before I get the insight out of them. He should write a book.


  10. Reality King Says:

    No worries Mikonos, I stop in from time to time, it is always entertaining. Hell sometimes I even learn something. :-)

  11. TigGirl Says:

    I love my FXR. We have matching scars & lots of miles of memories with lots more to go.

  12. Nookster Says:

    I usually only get Fayattenom Hoe when I’m burning a fatty!……or atleast I think I do……..

  13. sled tramp Says:

    BIG smile…..:-)

  14. Grumbler Says:

    The FXRS-SP was tits. Unfortunately, whenever the MoFoCo came out with a great handling Harley (XL1200S, XL1200R, and FXRS-SP), sales weren’t all that great. If I was in the market for a new 2010 HD that’d rock the winding mountain and river backroads here in Idaho, the Street Bob might be it.

  15. bob Says:

    where can I get an “ATTENTION PRETTY BITCH” t-shirt?and don’t say check the SOA website under merchandise.

  16. sled tramp Says:

    For the record…(I know you can’t sleep nights wondering deep, deep down if all the rumors are true..)
    Just wanted to say that for no apparent reason…

  17. Grumbler Says:

    Speaking of FXRs and Street Bobs as opposed to Road Kings
    and Garbage Wagons …

    Some riders are hoarders, and have to pack tons of useless
    crap otherwise they won’t go anywhere even if it’s just to a
    nearby convenience store for a pack of smokes. They’re into
    the bag lady syndrome. ;)


  18. sled tramp Says:

    I like every ride out there.If it has two wheels, they share the same BS and risks as anyone else.I wave-for the most part-at everyone regardless of brand (which I can’t tell usually at 75 anyway).
    I ride a black Harley,have severe facial growth and in general fit the description of a Yeti.
    I HAVE to be friendly. Hell, I have L.E.O.’s, cagers,Truckers et all LINING UP to mess with me.
    I know what you mean but garbage wagons only irritate me when the rider determines I’m not good “Church people” or HOG material.My only real targets out there are the sunny day,35k wannabe “Hard guys”.
    I usually just blow them a kiss and watch ’em implode….

  19. sled tramp Says:

    Should probably mention in defense of Baggers that in front of most clubhouses,in any major club, it’s pretty much a 50/50 split between Dynas/FXR’ and RK’s/SG’s etc..I ride a Dyna because A) I’m poor. B) I live in twisty central and C) I’m poor.
    (Did I mention I’m poor?)…
    Also it’s an age thing I think.My elderly posterior anatomy wants a Road King and my mind says I’m 18.

  20. Reality King Says:

    Agree with Sled Tramp on this one. Had an FXR for a long time and loved it: then got tired of trying to locate shit that kept falling off it..Got a FLHT and love it. My body says I am old, my mind says I am 21 and my wife says I am 12. Got that covered.

  21. Grumbler Says:

    Completely dig the comfort of a RK or Bagger especially during long road trips in inclement weather. Still, using applied logic, the older we get, the lighter our sleds ought to be. Easier handling, better performance and braking, and less risk of getting the mother of all hernias lifting bike off jiffy stand (sorry, couldn’t resist).

    Here are the wet weights for 4 models … Street Bob 667-lbs, FLSTC 761-lbs, Street Glide 810-lbs, FLHTCU 889-lbs. Power to weight ratio of Street Bob is far superior to that of the FLHTCU although, in defense of the Bagger, we don’t actually use much power droning along at freeway speeds.

    Speaking of Baggers, I think this is Sonny’s current ride:

  22. ruffrider Says:

    I love my Road King. Only what chrome came on it and I only wash it when I feel guilty. Dirt dont hurt and chrome wont get you home I say. The only changes I’ve made are performance and a little bit of comfort. As for that bike Sonny is on, it might be compfortable but it is butt ugly in my own opinion.
    respect rr

  23. Grumbler Says:

    ruffrider – agreed, it is one fugly bike. That’s not what Lady Bird Johnson had in mind when they passed Highway Beautification Act. LOL!

  24. puterindabasketchief Says:

    Want a bagger that handles? Road Glide. I had a batwing bike–a fixed fairing is far finer.

  25. BigV Says:

    My FLT was all I could afford because the price of FXR’s had gone up so much. It’s basically an FXR with bigger tubes and an arched neck up at the top.

    I kind of get the best of both worlds- it handles the best of any dresser I’ve ever ridden- including the new ones- and it has the power of a built EVO replacing the shovel. Also, I kept the side bags and the supports for them so if I ever want to dress it up again, I can.

  26. Pretty Bitch Says:

    sheesh…what a thread this turned out to be!

    Rebel, how many Brownie Points do I get for starting all this drivel? I actually “cut & paste” the entire thread on Word just so I could print it out because I couldn’t stop reading it :)! Almost as entertaining as SOA….almost. glad to see that everyone is well.

    Rebel, keep up the good work. i’ll be lurkin’


  27. TigGirl Says:

    I rode a fatbob for a year – I was being incognito – blending in with the Rubbiehogs. It was a sweet ride, but my FXR is so comfortable to ride, to work on, to ride.

  28. Rebel Says:

    Dear Pretty Bitch,

    Many points. Quick! Say something controversial!


  29. Anonymous Says:

    My Roadglide was by far the best handling Harley I have ridden. Seriously. It was easy to forget how big of a bike it really was. It was def not as good looking as other bikes I had before it, but as a club member and 1%er I needed something for those frequent road trips and the Roadglide made my life so much nicer. With a Thunderheader and 95ci kit it ran great as well. never felt slow to me. I got it up to 119 in between Susanville and McCloud and had plenty of room for some more, but I backed down.

    my new bike however, handles better, way faster and will blow away any power to weight ratio of another American bike.

  30. Grumbler Says:

    Anonymous – BMW K1200LT comes to mind. Word has it that the P of a 1%er chapter in the SF Bay Area owns one, and likes to take his HD buddies out for fast rides in the desert at least until their bikes blow up. Can’t substantiate it though.

    Have a bud in San Jose with RG, and he got completely fed-up with all the turbulence from the fixed frame fairing. In addition, it chipped too easily. He yanked it off, and put a batwing fairing on. Much happier now.

    Another friend in Jackson got into two high speed wobbles a few years apart, once in Texas and again near Mt. Shasta. ’96 FLHTCU and, if memory serves, ’04 FLHTC respectively. Both totalled. He then got a really nice FXRT and loved it. He now rides ’09 FLHTCU with stronger chassis, 6-spd, and 6gal tank debuted. It’s all good now.

    I’ve ridden all over Northern CA, but never on 89 at least btw Old Station and McCloud. That road btw Somes Bar and Callahan is something else. Best done while westbound especially if there’s a cager coming in other direction.

  31. DirtyBruin Says:

    sled tramp: The biggest favor I ever did my sittin’ bones with respect to riding was to get an AirHawk seat pad.

  32. Anonymous Says:


    I have heard that rumor too, but no, I ride a Buell 1125R. The bike that won Daytona 200 last year. We the model that did, not the bike. 89 is a nice route, it is what i take to get to Reno. Lots of nice wide open roads, however once I say a cop out there waiting on speeders in the middle of no where. but other than that one time its been pretty baron. It’s a nice route.

    as far as the RG goes, I have heard way more about speed and wind wobbles from the batwing fairing since it is mounted to the forks. The fixed fairing forces the forks down and air up over the rider. with a shorter windshield it kind of just ends up hitting you in the face though. that was my only complaint with that bike.

  33. sled tramp Says:

    Good idea, an airbag for my ass.Since that’s generally where my brain resides… win!

  34. Grumbler Says:

    Anonymous – 89 btw US-395 and CA-36 is a nice ride. If Stoney’s Country Burger is still open in Quincy, stop there the next time you’re passing through for breakfast or lunch. I *think* they close at 2pm.

    I attached a 1/4 cafe fairing to a ’80 Honda CB750F some 30-years-ago, and that caused mild speed wobbles at 80mph. Removed it, and bike was rock steady all the way into the triple digits.

    Sucks that the MoFoCo dumped Buell. Then again, I do like the Speed Triple as a hooligan bike which is a lot more visceral than one would expect from a triple.

  35. skinz Says:


    Wow, why do you all spend so much time composing all these essays full of controversy and disdain for each other? Especially when the weather as been awesome for riding. Get your knees in the breeze, quit worrying about the identities of people or if you may have met me, and lastly watch whatever television show, read whatever media / government / anti-mainstream publication you want – but please make up your own mind using your own brand of logic. With that premise, we will always have disagreements among free thinkers and through disagreements we can actually, if we are willing, learn about the topic of discussion. So, to all of you that think you know the guy you are replying to on this site, go over to where the person hangs out and see them face-to-face. If you think Fish and I (skinz) are the same person, well you are absolutely incorrect. We have met and we have occassional contact due to our mutual appreciation for riding the roads of So Cal and the southwest. Those of you that get ate up over a Hollywood writer’s depiction of a fictional motorcycle club based drama on FX need to quit writing about it because any publicity is good publicity as it promotes curiosity. Just ignore it when it comes on and go for a ride instead. If you are in an MC in So Cal ask around and we will eventually cross paths and you will see that I am not Fish. I am easy to catch up with and always love a good discussion that starts with opposite opinions on a particular subject. With questioning comes an increase in knowledge.

    Now get out and ride and I will see you on the road,

  36. prettybitch Says:

    Gotta keep this thread going – My name is at stake here!!

    Hey Rebel – I hope all is well with you :)

    P.S. New stories…we need new stories.

  37. prettybitch Says:

    oops, that was hella-rude of me.

    Hey Everyone (regulars) – Hope all is well with you and yours too!!

  38. sled tramp Says:

    Our host is probably at the Laughlin River Run causing mischief….

  39. TigGirl Says:

    …or applying for a job at the Shady Lady…

  40. prettybitch Says:


  41. willienelso3 Says:

    Grumbler said, “If I was in the market for a new 2010 HD that’d rock the winding mountain and river backroads here in Idaho, the Street Bob might be it.”

    from the winding roads of the Sierra Nevada mountains:
    the Street Bob is it. definitely.
    and it rides well up Oregon too (crater lake).

    Reality King said: “. . . it must bev the dog days of winter . . . .”
    heel, yeah. we had snow last night, but the sun is out now and I’m going to split some kindling. I started reading this thread and couldn’t stop. literally lol’d several times.

    Mr. Rebel, I’m starting to think reading here this is the best use of my internet time. Do you make a money off of this site? If I can turn in enough aluminum cans I might like to contribute someday.

    w/ appreciation to all,

  42. Miss Krista Says:

    I’m there with ya Willie

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