Satire Proof Waco Day 983

January 23, 2018

All Posts, News

Satire Proof Waco Day 983

Musical sting.

Opening Billboard.

Voice Over, Joanna Gaines, Central Texas celebrity and star of HGTV television show Fixer Upper enthuses:
“Previously on Clown Car Justice…
“The ATF was trying to entrap some Bandidos so – fronted by the DEA, which was fronted by the FBI, which was fronted by the clandestine operations branch of the Texas Rangers, which was fronted by various police departments in and around McLennan County, Texas – Koz and the Gang encouraged an instant motorcycle club named the Cossacks to go “to war” with the Bandidos and assured them they could do anything they wanted without police interference. Sorta like, you know, when you throw a couple of sticks of dynamite into a pond because it has been about a month since your last shower and you are in the mood for fish.”

Voice Over, Chip Gaines, the other Central Texas celebrity, continues:
“Plan A went kinda bad so a cover story had to be devised. The press will print anything, Fortunately, the FBI was also investigating the local district attorney, Abelino Reyna so they counseled him and explained that the Department of Justice can giveth and it also can taketh away. Reyna ordered all the witnesses arrested and held on million dollar bonds. Reyna, and his most trusted deputies – Huey, Dewey a Louise then proceeded to stall all the cases until the end of time. “Sieg Heil. Mien Fuhrer,” they all shouted.

Voice Over, Joanna:
“Coming up on Clown Car Justice….”

Medium Close Up, Outraged Defense Attorney Brian Bouffard
“”The truth is clear. The civil rights of Jorge Salinas, Billy McRee, and dozens upon dozens of other innocent motorcyclists, are being sacrificed on the altar of Abel Reyna’s political ambition and increasing desire to avoid the unpleasant personal and financial consequences of his behavior in these cases. He and Huey and Dewey and Louise must be disqualified, and a special prosecutor must be appointed to take over the Twin Peaks cases and honor the solemn oath to do justice; the same oath that Abel Reyna took, but now ignores.”

Medium Shot, Huey appearing smug:
“This is just another example, quack, of a Twin Peaks defense lawyer trying to smear this noble office disparage the work of the ducklings who work in this office. Quack. Your Honor, we move to continue this hearing. There is no reason why any of us should be compelled to testify how we got here under oath.”

Close Up, Judge Ralph Strother looking lost, vulnerable and alone:
“Motion denied. The hearing will proceed. Mr. Bouffard, call your first witness.

Extreme Close Up, Huey smirking:
“Motion to recuse your honor. Quack.”

Wide Shot, Strother:
“Then I have no choice under the laws of Central Texas but to terminate this hearing immediately.”

Reaction Shot, Bouffard incredulous:
“Whaaat!? But it the last case you argued that Strother shouldn’t be recused!?”

Wide Shot, Huey dancing the Cabbage Patch:
“All I do is quack quack quack no matter what. Got money on my mind I can never get enough. And, every time I step up in the buildin’ everybody hands go up! Quack.”

Voice Over, Joanna and Chip in unison, voce forte:
And now! Stay tuned for today’s episode of Clown Car Justice!


35 Responses to “Satire Proof Waco Day 983”

  1. david Says:

    @ SharkRib

    The public office holders in McClennen County stopped following the rule of law, a LONG time ago.

  2. Shutup Says:

    If you live in McLennan county Texas, you have until Monday, February 5th to register to vote. March primaries if you vote Republican, you can keep Able from being on the ballot in November. Hope your well Rebel.
    Respects to the deserving.

  3. Freebird Says:

    Sitting here with a cold beverage and watching Jack Nicholson in the “The Departed” How fucking cool would it be to buy a dirty cop in Waco to raid the records room and DA’s private filing cabinet. No way we have to talk to more than 3 to find our boy!

  4. Mark Says:

    If Reyna is on the up and up doing his job, why is he hiding the trials until after the election. Doesn’t sound like he’s running a sound and legitimate operation if he’s hiding what he’s doing from the voters. I would believe Reyna needs to explain exactly what he’s doing so people don’t think the worst of him and his office.

  5. SharkRib Says:

    No 180 day rule in Texas? Many years ago as a young defense lawyer in PA I remember invoking that rule to get charges dropped. Unless the defendant went along with the delay, the DA had to bring you to trial within 6 months.

  6. Gandalf Says:


  7. Neuro Says:

    Uh-oh, hey maybe we could be on the Tommy/Hillbilly undercard. Hey Dana White, are you reading this ?

  8. New England Rider Says:

    @Gandalf –
    As a rule I tend not to get involved with inter-club rivalries or choose sides. Having said that it does seem kind of odd that the Cossacks never adopted the 1% patch until after Waco. And how and why the cops were there, and who shot first is one of those things that I think stink about this whole thing.

    New England Rider

  9. Gandalf Says:

    @ New England Rider: I’m thinking any other Club would be busy Hunting their turncoat Leaders and/or the CIs. Naaaa These guys just let them skate away and put a 1% patch on. Ya can’t make this Shit up.

  10. Gandalf Says:

    @Neuro WTF? You looking for a Prom date? FYI Paula and I have been seeing each other for more than 2 years now. Step away from the Keyboard. ;)

  11. New England Rider Says:

    And if I may add further I hate this case so bad. There is so much wrong here and the fact it has gone on for nearly 1,000 days is getting to be ridiculous. If nothing else at this point you can argue the accused 6th Amendment Rights to a speedy trial at this point have been violated.
    I was brought up on weapons charges and the police department who arrested me never sent the second page to my attorney or even the prosecutor. After the third appearance with still no second page the judge decreed my 6th Amendment Rights were being violated and dismissed all charges.

  12. New England Rider Says:

    @Shameful –
    I am not from the area, is that true the Cossacks are now wearing a 1% diamond patch? I do know they avoided it for years and was not aware they adopted it recently. Sounds like it is in response to what happened at Waco.

  13. Neuro Says:

    Paula, is that your photo in the thumbnail by your comments in the Waco Tribune-Herald ? Black tank top, braided hair, sunglasses. You are pretty. Pretty Paula.

  14. James W Crawford Says:

    Re Agnarr:

    Do not forget the 5.7 casings on the roof of firebase Don Carlos!

  15. Agnarr Says:

    Now Paula was that 44 rounds from the actual casings they had left on the parking lot to be found? Or was that the number given from all the round’s that was missing from the LEO’s Magazines after the Shitstorm? If they had ‘X’ amount of full magazines for every type of weapon used; Then the counting of missing rounds would give you a true count of the number of rounds fired. But I believe I read in earlier posts on this site about their being witnesses that saw LEO’s after the shooting stopped going around and collecting up spent shell casings from their pistols. If that is true then we will never know the actual number of pistol rounds fired by them, nor as you have correctly stated who was actually hit by a Law Enforcement Officer’s Sidearm, as they were never tested properly.

    As always Respects to all.


  16. Paula Carroll Swann Says:

    I don’t see how they can say their not ready, the DA has a 5 person team and almost 3 year’s to prepare for this. Using that is a petty good indication that that they didn’t have any evidence.
    I wish the next grand jury panel called with give out indictments on Reyna for interfering in a ongoing investigation. They are dragging these people on costing Texas taxpayers.
    They wasted so much money on showboat security measures that wasn’t needed for even DPS said it was wrong to report that bikers were coming to kill all in uniform, as was to me administration of guilt for killing & injuring so many people.
    14 officer’s fired 44 shots of 12 of those 44 shots came from 3 officer’s of who’s gun’s went for ballistic testing so no one will know who the 11 officer’s shot…

  17. Shameful Says:


    Which Copsacks are we referring to? The ones with the “Ugly Man” back patches that was established in Tyler, TX in 1969 and let everyone in who had a pulse and at least a desire to own a motorcycle? Or are we taking about the ones who sewed on a 1%er diamond within the last year or so, headed by an amnesiac but ran by his wife, comprised of at least 5-6 feds and a few CI’s, who claim the 7 dead as their members, and still claim much of the history of the other group?
    Just want to see which group we are referring to.

  18. Hero Says:

    @ James. Right on the money!!!!

  19. James W Crawford Says:

    Interestingly, they now have a movie and TV miniseries about the first Waco debacle. I refuse to watch either. The evidence that ATF “snipers” managed to fire three dozen rounds of .308 and .223 from the undercover house without hitting ant branch Davidian’s suggests that may be they shot their own guys. Even more disturbing are the autopsy summaries of the dozen women and children who died from being crushed or buried alive by the FBI’s combat engineering vehicle about an hour before the fire started.

    I wonder if they are trotting out the propaganda on Waco 1 to give PR cover for Waco2?

  20. Neuro Says:

    Okay, thanks.

  21. Gandalf Says:

    @Neuro Yes… Betting. Rebel is running the book. Bets are all in May 14th and the only clue you have are their words. Good Luck Jonny Reb. ;)

  22. Neuro Says:

    Could youse be sure that the fight is scheduled to coincide with Jake’s second trial so people could attend both ? Will there be betting ?

  23. Hangaround Says:


    In all fairness there might be some confusion as to which Cossacks Vogel is referring too. There is a Cossacks MC in a state other than Texas that is not related to the Texas Cossacks and was around for a long time before the Texas Cossacks.

  24. Gandalf Says:

    @Vogel (The Cossack) I think He dropped the Mic and left the building. Do yourself a favor… Let that Club go. Move on in your life. It ain’t worth it. No worries. “The cream always rises to the top.”

  25. Iron Rider Says:

    Reyna trying to contain the fallout before the election takes place. I highly doubt there is anyone in McLennan County that doesnt know what a mess Reyna created and how financially devastating it will be for the taxpayers because it sure has hell has been for the defendants and their families lives.

    Reyna asking to have Strothers removed, that’s rich considering how much Strothers Reyna and Johnson have been the ones to control these cases from the beginning, so the motion is beyond laughable but just goes to show Reyna is doing damage control till after the election, but talk about wasting the defendants time and their counsel not to mention the cost of going to court when the prosecution knew fill well if they didnt get a continuance they would pull this card out of the deck.

    Honestly when any of Team Reyna files into court they ought to just play circus music because they are like a bad clown act. How this shit show still manages to plod along is baffling to say the least

  26. Rebel Says:

    Dear Vogel,

    Look pal, according to his brother, Daniel Raymond Boyett had never ridden a motorcycle until a year before the Twin Peaks ambush. He died with a gun in his hand trying to kill Bandidos. The Cossacks underwent a profound change as they became a new club that could be infiltrated. They attracted a lot of guys like Boyett. If you don’t understand how the feds create and co-opt chapters, and in this instance a whole motorcycle club, there is no point in me even trying to explain it to you. Think any horseshit you want.


  27. Theseus Says:

    I think Judge Strother and other high priests of the Waco hierarchy are planning to drop their support for Reyna.
    It should be quite evident as the March 4 primary race mutates into a political shitstorm that will dwarf even the pending trials of the Waco Innocent.
    Never before has anyone managed to display this level of prosecutorial misconduct, incompetence and malfeasance.

  28. Gandalf Says:

    Oh… and the Eagles will win by 20pts in yet another Super Bowl blowout.

  29. Vogel Says:

    Rebel to the best of my knowledge the Cossacks have existed for years what suddenly makes them a instant club? Sounds like your narrative is a bit biased chief.

  30. Gandalf Says:

    Meanwhile in “As the world Trolls” Local Waconians are seeing an opening to support Abel Reyna on the local News Social Media pages. Once again the pages are full of “Good” people demanding justice to be done to the “Bad” people. Wondering why the defense Lawyers keep stalling. Working on the fabrication of 177 ropes and the planting 177 trees to be ready for the big day.
    In other News… The Hillbilly/Tommy fight has been set for May 15, 2018 in the Don Carlos parking lot. Bring your tools, leave your wives… It’s going to be a bumpy ride.

  31. Jim Bob Says:

    Now that’s some funny shit.

  32. TX_Biker Says:

    This needs to be a movie. let’s go pitch it to Disney. We could say it’s like “Liar Liar” meets “And Justice For All”.


  33. stlrzfan Says:

    Un. Fucking. Believable. Cannot wait for your book.

  34. Hero Says:

    Funny stuff. Skill laughing.

    Side note. The cable show about the Waco stand off dramatized is about to air. How many years has it been? Jury tampering at its best. Hope it back fires. Cork soakers.

  35. T-Sparky Says:

    Another FBI ATF Federal and Local debacle in Waco TX History. Sickening.

    Corrupt Officials should be burned in the street.

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