Citizens Against Motorcyclists

July 10, 2017

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Citizens Against Motorcyclists

In case you missed it, a new page titled Citizens Against Motorcyclists popped up on Facebook six days ago.

According to its anonymous author, the page “is a grassroots social organization aimed at outlawing motorcycles and prosecuting those who engage in ‘biker’ culture. Join our cause and help us to rid the roadways of these savages!”

As of this morning, the page had 27 followers and 269 comments to posts like “Did you know biker clubs are responsible for 90% of sex trafficking, drugs and child pornography in America?”

And, “Like And Share If You Think Police Officers Should Be Able To Search Motorcyclists Without Probable Cause!” Of course, police do that already by using imagined traffic violations, their expert “training and experience,” drug detecting wonder dogs and the motor vehicle exception to the Fourth Amendment.

Wait For It

Creating yet more constitutional exceptions for motorcyclists is something Citizens Against Motorcyclists is “really trying to push. Here’s why. Bikers already look very intimidating, most of them carry weapons and also have Drugs/paraphernalia on them. If anything, Motorcyclists should be open to this not only to prove they’re abiding all laws, but to also assure the police officer’s safety. LIKE & SHARE IF YOU AGREE.”

Enjoy Citizens Against Motorcyclists while you can. Chris Rock once said something like, “If you want to know whether somebody is stupid or smart, tell him a joke.”

Like, “Don’t you hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious?”

Citizens Against Motorcyclists is one of those jokes. It is drily tongue in cheek and a little too subtle in the Age of Trump.

Satire Is Dead

Some commenters seem to get it. One describes the page as “PETA meets bikers.”

But satire is currently on its deathbed so most of them don’t. “What the actual fuck. This is bull shit. If they can just search me for being on my Harley then they can just search you for driving your BMW and for being a dumb fuck,” one concerned biker sputtered.

And, “Ru a fucking Asshole or what.” And, “Fuck you and your ignorant stereotyping. You wouldn’t qualify to be biker material. Our standards are far higher.” And, “Frkn nutz!! Get rid of the soccer moms that are so fucked up on wine and prescription drugs!!! Then get rid of the Trucking industry as well!!!” And, “…your dumb ass should go get a booth at Sturgis and spread the word see how that goes for you.” And, so on.

The real fun has yet to begin. There are, after all, actual, grassroots groups with names like Concerned Citizens Against Loud Motorcycles. So just wait until the bikers rights crusaders discover this guy, whoever he is.




23 Responses to “Citizens Against Motorcyclists”

  1. Nick Says:

    I ride and yes i carry a weapon but do it legally. I dont do drugs nor anythinglike you are saying. I ride in a group that are like family to me. I have a wife and 4 kids i work 50hrs a week as a mechanic. Not all bike groups are bad nor are all bikers. Some of the nicest most loyal people i have ever met ride bikes. This page is a joke!!!!!!!

  2. Gottabejustright Says:

    “27 Followers”…… Bout sums it up. Not even enough for a circle jerk; which is probably where the idea was birthed.

  3. Chasra Says:

    Go to the page on Facebook and report it as being hateful.
    Enough of this bullshit.
    Ride Free

  4. 1BillyBoy2 Says:

    Hero nailed it! ‘With every interaction we have in our daily lives… we are all in this together’

    The only way u to win, is not play…if u play (engage them) then it’s just a question of who loses the most.

  5. Mark Says:

    It’s a good thing this story didn’t come out on April 1st, LOL! The guy that put up this page is likely a Goldwing rider, they refuse to wave back at anyone on a Harley. Proving, you don’t meet the nicest people on a Honda.

  6. slycechyx Says:

    I’ve been watching this page for a few days now, it seems all the people that “liked” the page have given them nothing but shit. I think only the admin of that page actually supports what the page is claiming to be about. everyone one else posting is totally against it.

  7. Ed Says:

    Uh, I have been riding for a shade over 40 years, I watch and usually speak very little and soak up everything; I will tell you very quickly; Most people are jealous of folks that ride a motorcycle everyday. And, most citizens really don’t like folks that ride Harley Davidsons, and REALLY don’t like the patched up bunches. But, being a man that doesn’t speak much, I can sum it up in two words, “Fuck them”

  8. Anonymous Says:

    Make everything illegal, collect tax erhm I mean citation money when people break the law.

  9. Nuke n' Pave Dave Says:

    I bet their bus is pretty short…

  10. Dutchboy Says:

    Wow Rebel “you got balls that clank! You like pushing like that?”. Extra points if you can name the movie. Huge sigh… Read the WHOLE story before you comment guys, and remember Rebel’s somewhat twisted sense of humor.

  11. BIKER BILL Says:


  12. What ever Says:

    It’s more then likely a scam. On FB if one has lots of hits and followers on ones site they can get sponsorship money. So people start controversial pages to generate traffic and profit financially.

  13. DD Says:

    Just someone else I can tell to suck it.

  14. Hold_The_Phone Says:

    Just like with Idiot Disorder, Idiot Legacy, and Kinfarts post here…Don’t feed the trolls.

  15. Jason Says:

    It’s a joke, snowflakes. So sorry you got triggered.

  16. Brad H Says:

    Normally I would think of this as funny. In light of Waco, and other bs going on with groups like the Mongols and Vagos, this shit ain’t as hilarious as it should be.

  17. Bone Head Says:

    Wonder if a cop is behind this page?

  18. Roselady Says:

    I think they ought to ban all bicycles if they take away motorcycles.
    But how can they, so much revenue from bike owners.

  19. Psycho Says:

    There are a large number of trolls on the internet. I’ve noticed quite a few of these sarcastic satire posts being taken serious recently. This video is another example.
    Good for a laugh, but stupid, and poor satire.

  20. Kat Says:

    Sounds like something Maxine Waters would do to try and get back at “Bikers for Trump”….

  21. Hangaround Says:

    April Fools day was 3 1/2 months ago Rebel…

  22. Hero Says:

    This is exactly what I have been talking about on this site and to my family and friends in person. These jokesters with the facebook page would have zero traction with civilian or non motorcycle enthusiast community if they viewed us as part of their society instead of as outsiders. Repairing the image of the motorcyclist community lies with all of us every day, with every interaction we have in our day to day lives. We are all in this together.

    I am tempted to go to their facebook page and post my opinion to them about their approach to my God given government back rights, however that is exactly what they want and would most likely try to use it or spin it to paint me as the problem not the solution. I recommend others not to take the bait either. I don’t think their “movement” will get far. Every time I hear the word “movement”, I am reminded of the journalist from young guns two, “I think I need to have a movement”.

  23. Griz's Gal Says:

    This ought to be fun…


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