George Christie will never drown. No lifeguard could ever ignore his furious cries. He has a genius for getting attention. He has managed to get mentioned on this page twice so far this week. He is thisclose to being on TMZ. Probably in another month, when his memoir is published, he will be inescapable. Like Oprah. As Jay Dobyns once seemed inescapable.
Already, in the last year this guy has had a television show, a billboard on Broadway in New York, a billboard on the Sunset Strip and he landed a major, multi-country book deal. But that’s not enough. He wants to be the ultimate definer of reality. If you want to know what fire, rain or algebra are, or what really happened at the Altamont Speedway in 1969, first thing you better check with George.
He will not truck with disagreement. Last week, a Ventura County, California alternative newspaper ran an 88-word open letter titled “A Challenge to George Christie.” The letter was signed by William Gunner Wolf. It challenged Christie to take a polygraph examination. This page covered the letter in a post two days ago titled “Christie’s Honesty Questioned Again.”
Regrettably, Wolf did not check with Christie before he wrote that letter.
Christie (hard at work in the photo above) responded to the letter today on his website with a 1341-word polemic attacking Hells Angels founder Ralph “Sonny” Barger, Barger’s “clowns,” religious writer Candy Chand, Hells Angel Rusty Coones, Wolf, British filmmaker Nick Mead and “a blogger who has been accused of misrepresenting the facts in his stories.”
Because even hack writers know that men reveal their character in their words, and because George Christie’s words are so revealing, and because quoting a self-righteously indignant man is an easy way for a lazy writer to fill a page with content, here is some of what George had to say today.
“The Sonny Barger Clown Show is back on the road. Unfortunately, it’s a one-song act sung mostly out of tune. This time, Sonny’s Clowns are renewing the call for me to take a lie-detector test. I already did. It’s called writing a memoir.”
“Exile on Front Street is as close to the absolute truth as sixty years of memory and exhaustive fact checking can get you.”
“…the bizarro-universe reasoning of Sonny’s Clowns would be funny if it wasn’t just so stupid and irritating.”
“There are, however, lots of background singers in the Sonny Barger Clown Show. He’s got Candy Chand, a religious inspirational writer who apparently has had a late-life conversion to biker groupie.”
“And there’s Donald Charles Davis, a hack blogger who thinks a copy of Bartlett’s Familiar Quotations substitutes for thoughtful writing. He’s a wannabe and a coward who would have been chewed up and spit out in the outlaw motorcycle world. He’s fond of calling me a liar, but no mention of what I lied about. I’m a rat, but no mention of who did time or got busted behind my ‘cooperation.’ He’s even let Sonny take over his blog in a point-by-point rebuttal to things I said in History Channel’s The Outlaw Chronicles.”
Nick Mead’s problem…. I believe Nick got threatened by the club and shut down the movie. Now, out of embarrassment, fear, or both, he’s one of the most vocal of Sonny’s Clowns…. He is one of Sonny’s saddest clowns. (Nick, honestly man, I hope you get some help for what seems to me to be a pretty serious drinking problem, and just get some kind of life.)”
“The worst are the members and former members, who are the height of hypocrisy. Even though we weren’t close, I went to bat for Rusty Coones when Sonny and Rusty’s charter wanted to vote him out of the club while Rusty was in jail. It was a violation of the rules and I fought it, and consequently Rusty’s still a Hells Angel. I helped convince attorney Barry Tarlow’s law firm to take Rusty on as a client. My thanks? Rusty’s gotten right in step against me.”
“I don’t do Sonny’s bidding. I never did. That’s the heart of the problem he has with me. I certainly would never do Gunner Wolf’s bidding….”
At Least At Last We Know
“So a lie-detector test? No. I don’t do what Sonny Barger commands. Never have. And Sonny of all people should realize that bullshit about lie detectors cuts both ways. I can think of a dozen questions he wouldn’t want to be asked strapped to a machine.”
“Donald Charles Davis is going to put his bullshit spin on every yellow post he puts up, which I’m sure will periodically include something nasty and derogatory about me. Knuckle draggers inside the club and out will continue to puff up their chests, and tell themselves they’re not liars. Nick Mead will continue to whine like a little bitch.”
“But I do take some comfort in getting it out there and making it clear that I know they’re lying. And they know I know. I guess that’s going to be as straight as the record ever gets.”
You can read all of Christie’s polemic here.