Bid On Sons Of Anarchy Crap

December 2, 2014

All Posts, News

Apparently Sons of Anarchy will still be on television for another week. An episode will air tonight and a week from now. Probably next week’s episode has already been written, filmed and edited so it is probably too late to make suggestions. Let’s make one anyway. How about if next week every member of the cast and crew dies on live television while imitating the male model gasoline fight in Zoolander. Nooooooooo! Boooooom!

Sons of Anarchy has perfected the scam of commoditizing motorcycle outlaw memes and even though the show is ending the scam must go on. So starting this Friday fans of the show can bid on stuff the janitors collected after the production shut down. will be auctioning off about 750 show related items. You, or somebody you know, might want to hang some of this crap on your wall.

Some Crap

A partial list of items to be auctioned includes:

Chibs’ Motorcycle Helmet, “the actual black bike helmet worn by Chibs during the series run of SOA, road-worn and pretty much priceless.” Kyle Hobart’s Melted Back Tattoo described as, “You don’t leave SAMCRO, not with your ink attached, evidenced by this prop from the fifth episode of ‘Sons.’” John Teller’s Burned Manuscript described as, “Jax thought better of burning his late father’s manuscript, barely rescuing it from the fire. Here’s that screen-used prop.”

But wait! There’s more!

Bobby’s Eyeball. “August Marks’ crew did one hell of a number on our beloved SAMCRO brother Bobby, gouging out his eye (this eye) and shipping it off to SAMCRO in a Tupperware container.” Tara’s Death Fork. “This is the rubber prop used by Gemma to brutally murder Tara at the end of season six.” The SOA Gavel. “Yes, THE gavel, closing business in SAMCRO’s chapel at the end of every session of church. Only two exist, and only this one can be yours.” Jax’s Rubber .45 Springfield. “Jax’s custom Springfield .45 was the character’s go-to sidearm for much of SOA, and here we have one of the two rubber props used in the show.” Jax’s SOA Helmet. “Priceless. That’s the best word for this screen-used bike helmet worn by Jax.”

Crash Harley

But we’re about to offer you even more!

Jax’s Crash Harley. “Anytime Jax and his Harley needed to crash, this non-working motorcycle (a 1998 Dyna Superglide) was used, and now it can go home with you.” Jax’s “SO” and “NS” Rings. “These are the production (non-screen) used rings Jax wore.” Jax’s White Nikes. “Being president of SAMCRO can be bloody hard work, as evidenced by this pair of Jax’s white Nike Air Force Ones.” SOA Redwood Original Cut. “Screen-used SAMCRO leather cut, about as close as you’ll ever get to being patched as a Redwood Original.” Otto’s Signed Plea Deal. “At more than one point, Otto was ready to sell out SAMCRO. Here’s a copy of the plea deal that called for Otto to give up the Real IRA, the Galindo Cartel, Clay, Bobby, and basically everyone else. Signed by Assistant U.S. District Attorney Lincoln Potter. Also included are actual legal papers covering the rights of prisoners from the Office of the U.S. Attorney. A framable item from the SOA set.” And, even “Juice’s Medical Marijuana ID Card,” which actually doesn’t look anything like a California medical marijuana “Physician’s Statement.”

The opening bid on everything is $100. The auction closes December 10, the morning after the series finale, at 9 a.m. Pacific Time.


55 Responses to “Bid On Sons Of Anarchy Crap”

  1. slycechyx Says:

    I admit to watching the final episode, only because I wanted Gemma to wake up as Peg Bundy telling Al about this weird dream she had. i was disappointed.

  2. Road Whore Says:

    @ slycechyx: ROFL That would have been awesome! :)

    I had hopes at the beginning of this train wreck (SOA) because there hasn’t been anything decent on the tube as a weekly serial which dealt with motorcycles in a serious way since Then Came Bronson.

    As I’ve said before, I think Sutter watched all of the Saw movies and decided to somehow merge that into the biker lifestyle.

    It ceased to be even remotely entertaining to me when it became: “Let’s cut off his foot and have him limp around screaming. No, no, wait! After we cut off his foot let’s set his foot on fire! And then, and then…” Cue Jax to ride up with his expression (which never changes) that my old lady calls an expression that always looks like a cat’s face when it has sniffed something weird.

    Anyone that would prospect for, hang around, or join such a club of fucking losers, misfits, and homicidal maniacs has no clue what real life is all about, much less biking. And if they can watch the betrayals in SOA and think that truly represents brotherhood…lawsy!

    Anyway…I was up late one night flipping through channels and caught the last bit of the finale. Jax is sitting like an asshole talking to his old man at the scene (presumably) of the crime where his old man bought it and he states that he’s learned that a man can’t be a good outlaw and a good father at the same time. What fucking drivel. Those who wrote the Constitution would have a hearty disagreement with our young Jax-ass on that one.

    So what is Jax-ass’s decision? He abandons his kids, and then proceeds to orphan them by chicken-shitting his way out by suicide by truck. He abandons his club. He runs from life, his family, his kids, and his brothers, who stupidly have upheld his every decision and pandered to his every whim as he has fallen farther and farther down the hole of dementia and psychosis.

    What a fucking train wreck.

    When I’ve been around friends who I saw making bad decisions I would get in their faces and sternly counsel them otherwise and do everything I could to help them reverse course; if I saw that they were going to leap headlong into the fire anyway I damn sure didn’t leap in with them. Fuck. Jax should have been out bad long ago. Actually the whole damn club should have been out bad long ago.


    Ride Free

  3. 2old2ride Says:

    @slyecechyx, that would have been a perfect ending!

  4. Rusty Says:

    @Road Whore, ,,, Thank you for those words.

    Respect to the deserving

  5. Whitepride Says:

    Well said Road Whore!

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