Bacon Power

August 9, 2014

All Posts, News

In what can only be described as a shameless play for the attention of this page, Hormel Foods Corporation and the BBDO advertising agency have announced that a bacon powered motorcycle has arrived in Sturgis, South Dakota on its way to the Bacon Film Festival in San Diego.

The film festival will unfold Friday, August 29, beginning at 7 p.m. on the deck of the USS Midway which is now docked at 910 N. Harbor Drive in San Diego. Presumably, this publicity stunt is the result of some research that indicates motorcyclists are unabashed bacon lovers. A web site will chronicle the bacon powered bike’s transit of the left half of the continent. And you will find that site at

The bike will be accompanied by a 12-member support team as it travels west. Somebody or other will film the journey and edit the raw footage into a film that will be shown at the film festival. There is a high probability that the film will feature many colorful yahoos saying things like “Golly! Does that motorcycle really run on bacon!? Is it high quality and delicious Hormel bacon?”

Evaproducts T800DCI

The relentlessly technical will want to know that the bacon bike is really a modified diesel powered motorcycle called the Track T800CDI. It is built by a Dutch company called Evaproducts and it is designed for “adventure travel.” The prototype was unveiled about five years ago.

The original press materials on the T800DCI claimed the motorcycle has an 800 cc engine that makes 45 horsepower and 78 foot pounds of torque. Evaproducts claimed the bike got 140 miles per gallon. One reviewer described the Evaproducts bike as smelling like an old school bus and sounding like a tractor.

Now Smells Like Bacon

The ever cheery scriveners at BBDO explain the bacon bike will run on “grease from its Black Label Bacon plant in Rochelle, Illinois.” Hormel ships the grease to a company called Bio-Blend Fuels Inc. in Manitowoc, Wisconsin where it is converted into biofuel.

The advertisers claim the motorcycle gets about 70 miles per gallon running on the converted bacon grease. Also the thing is now supposed to smell like bacon.

Just so you know.


17 Responses to “Bacon Power”

  1. fayettenamhoe Says:

    i fucked little suzy this mornng, i fucked her real hard, i fucked and fucked that piece of cream cheese un til she was blind, now she say she loves me too, no bacon involvled, i fucked her with out the cum, i call it the grudge fuck, i sucked her face, pussey and her ass, som amaney hickies i was all over her,, three hours later she said i made her her pussey alive

  2. RtC Says:

    Now just MAYBE Hormel has hit on a secret weapon against the fuckin’
    Mu(d)slime religion! Maybe we could suggest they run these scooters around
    all airports 24/7 just to weed out those rag-heads! Couldn’t work at the
    Mexican border tho! They’d think we were havin’ an “invite BB-Q”!


  3. RtC Says:

    Now that takes balls OR is just stupidity on a shameless level. I’m voting
    the latter. I can only shake my head at things these days. But it seems
    that the MORE STUPID an advertising scheme is, the more product it sells.
    News for those that think that. Works just the opposite for me. Matter of
    fact, can’t see myself buying ANY Hormel products any time in the future.

  4. Meh Says:

    With integral liposuction and fat processing equipment this could be the ideal American vehicle. Our supply of Fat Fucks is limitless so why not enable them to fuel their own transport?

    Straddle PorkoCycle, connect LipoStoma suction tube, then ride off to Mickey D’s for a tasty refuel.

  5. Celunni Says:

    You know, when I read this headline I thought for sure it was about what new motorcycle a police department was buying.

    At least it would be factual when you saw a cop and said, “I smell bacon.”

  6. Shootemall Says:

    So, as a thought, do you think the gas mileage will improve if a urine odor member rode this? Just wondering…..

  7. FuckThePigs&IO Says:

    Now all the fucking cop clubs and the Iron Odor have a big tha can run on their own sweat.


  8. ElleElle Says:

    “Listen, can you smell that”? Ghostbusters.

  9. Base Says:

    Wonder if they give you the tomatoes, lettuce & bread to go with that bike.

  10. Dave Says:

    Bacon-powered bikes for bacon-powered bacon.

    Now we can smell them coming for miles.

  11. Paladin Says:

    To lend credibility to Hormel’s cross country trek, their bike should only be refueled at police and sheriff sub-stations, where there’s no shortage of pig fuel.

    Long May You Ride (to those that deserve to),


  12. chromedome Says:

    I bet is-odd is shitting himself in disbelief that something can smell more like bacon than he does.

  13. Nashville Says:

    The word “fucktards” is growing on me – thanks to Phuqhed. Seems to say it all.

  14. Freeman Says:

    Well documented fact; countries that have bacon don’t have war on their territories.

  15. g Says:

    iron order bike of choice

  16. jj solari Says:

    bikers: our best last hope against islam.

  17. Kraut Says:

    Well,well…pig powered 2 wheels.

    Should be a big hit with the urine odour.

    Pigs riding pig-powered feel good wanna-be cycles…Perfect!

    Respects to all that warrant respect.


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