Hollister 2014

July 1, 2014

All Posts, Editorials, Features, News

Sixty-six years ago, on July 6 1948, the Los Angeles Times editorialized: “Just a year ago, the town of Hollister was taken apart by 4000 roistering motorcyclists who drove their vehicles into bars and restaurants, hurled bottles out of windows and into streets, fought, rioted and destroyed, until they were dispersed with the threat of teargas.” Sounds like fun, doesn’t it?

Actually, it probably wasn’t that good. Actually the Times depended on an account written by a towering figure of American journalism named C. I. Dourghty Jr. Dourghty wasn’t actually there when any of this took place but there are strong indications that he did interview some people who were.

Dourghty called the weekend an “outburst of terrorism” and he reported “wrecking of bars, bottle barrages into the streets from upper story windows and roofs and high speed racing of motorcycles though the streets.” He also said peace was restored only after 40 California Highway Patrolmen, armed with the threat, but not the actual deployment, of teargas, “herded the cyclists into a block on San Benito street, between Fifth and Sixth Streets, parked a dance band on a truck and ordered the musicians to play.” Isn’t that a wonderful story? Wouldn’t this be a better world if hardworking reporters with deadlines to meet could just make up stuff like that and get down the street to the nearest reporters’ bar?

Biker Menace

The Times believed Dourghty. The world believed Dourghty.

“Even in a country where almost anything is rather more than likely to happen,” one of Norman Chandler’s fine editorialists sagely observed, “the motorcycle raid is a startling development. It gives Californians in peacetime the hair raising experience of guerilla warfare. Police have a strange, new problem, dealing with mobile, mounted hoodlums, thousands strong. It is not the fault of the police that they can’t cope with the problem.”

It’s like the voice over narration of an episode of Gangland isn’t it? All it needs is some stock footage and an interview with Steve Cook.

And so was born the biker menace and the war on outlaw bikers. And, of course “It is not the fault of the police that they can’t cope with the problem.” Steve couldn’t have put it better himself. The police need more overtime, much more overtime, and better body armor and machine guns and tanks! Or the bikers will drive their vehicles into your bars!

Meanwhile In Sundance

Like that time that Hamster rode into the Dime Horseshoe on Third Street in Sundance and put his front wheel against the bar and did a burnout right there. Inside. Ruined the bar floor. Took days to air out that stink. The Hamsters paid for the damage. No arrests were effected.

But that momentous event in biker history is still commemorated annually during Sturgis week with the Sundance Burnouts: Which basically is like money falling from the clouds for the enterprising residents of Sundance, Wyoming.

Much as the enterprising residents of Hollister have learned to make money fall from the sky during that town’s annual commemoration of the Hollister riot. Of course, the biker menace is still very real, even more real than pixie dust and unicorns. So public safety concerns must be addressed lest all the good burghers of Hollister find themselves in another, thrilling, guerilla war.

Safety And Water

The annual Hollister celebration was actually cancelled for a few years because the police just didn’t feel the public would be safe unless the merchants who make the most money from this historic event paid an army of sworn peace officers $120,000 a day to save Hollister once again. One hundred twenty large per day and not a penny less.

“Cutting back on law enforcement costs,” City Manager Clint Quilter proclaimed, “could potentially result in police officers being manned around the downtown perimeter until the event’s completion when they would deal with the aftermath.” In other words, if the merchants didn’t pay up the police would retreat to a safe location and leave the townsfolk on their own to explain to the biker horde why a plastic bottle of warm tap water cost six dollars.

“For six dollars Mongo want cold Perrier!”

Welcome To Panopticonia

Fortunately this year, thanks to the many wonders and miracles of the modern Panopticon police state, the historic reenactment of the rape of Hollister will be more profitable and safer than ever. Just last week the City of Hollister installed 36 brand new surveillance cameras.

“We can’t have an officer standing on every corner,” a police captain named Carlos Reynoso told KSBW Action News 8, “but if we have these cameras up they’re an independent witness as to what happened and it’s a tool we can use in the future to solve crimes or find out what really happened in certain situations.”

Action News 8 reports, “Most of the cameras are located in the downtown area which hosts the annual Fourth of July biker rally. This year’s rally is expected to draw more than 100,000 people during the three-day weekend. The rally and the large presence of biker gangs was the reason the cameras were approved, despite some concerns that they’re an invasion of privacy.”

The cameras cost Hollister $318,000 so the price of water may be going up this year.

Wouldn’t it be great if C. I. Dourghty Jr. emerged from a cave somewhere and got a job at Action News 8?

The rally starts this Friday. Bring extra cash because it can get hot in Hollister in July and you might get thirsty. And if you find yourself in a public place be sure to look as harmless as possible. The cameras will be constantly monitored during the rally. So try to remember to smile constantly.

Happy, happy, happy! Harmless, harmless, harmless!


24 Responses to “Hollister 2014”

  1. jj solari Says:

    want to see wild wanton destruction on a citywide scale all over america? threaten to fire all the cops and withdraw all their pensions and benefits. you’ll see destruction upon this land that the muslims will look upon with awe and admiration, all while furiously taking notes.

  2. Done Says:


  3. RtC Says:

    Not, even if I could.

  4. Grumbler Says:

    “Big Brother is Watching You” … George Orwell, 1984

  5. Dave Says:

    For some reason I kept thinking this was about Black Bike Week at Myrtle, from all the destructiveness mentioned and violence.

  6. Paladin Says:

    For all the above stated reasons, I don’t attend these dip-shit events. However; with the addition of (36) thirty-six surveillance cameras the io should feel safe enough to attend.

    Long May You Ride (to those that deserve to),


  7. Loser Says:

    @ Rebel

    “It’s like the voice over narration of an episode of Gangland isn’t it? All it needs is some stock footage and an interview with Steve Cook.” That is so true.

  8. Tooj Says:

    “Awww Sheriff Rebel…Mongo straight!”

  9. House Says:

    Been there done that… never again

    Respect to those that deserve it

  10. ocmouse22 Says:

    No one should go to these runs. If the clubs stayed away for a few years the prices would come down and it would hurt these cities where it counts. Start thinking smart !!! MONEY!!!!!!

  11. Stevo Says:

    The type of clubs that most of the righteous regular posters here are members of, or supporters/admirers of, are as different to the rich wannabes that attend these rallies as chalk is to cheese. My business is vintage motorcycles. And to avoid driving my pick up truck a million miles a year I use specialized motorcycle couriers to collect and deliver my stock. In the month after any of these type of rallies Has occurred I can’t get a stitch of work done-why? Because the couriers are collecting and delivering home these so-called bikers machines. They courier and drive/fly to these events. Fuck that, what’s the point?


  12. blacksmith Says:

    Im going this year.
    staying about 30 miles outside of Hollister though. Not much on the crowds either, but its something to do this weekend.

  13. OC VAGO 1%er Says:

    OC VAGO 1%er Says:
    February 5th, 2014 at 8:49 pm
    Explain to me again why I want to go to a place of angry lynch mob residents, overpriced food & beers & hotel rooms, over aggressive cops, dickhead drunk strangers and their stupid fat ass ol ladies, asshole posers, Laffing Devils dildos, idiots that cant ride, Sons of Anarchy lookalikes & Sin Mobber fags that I don’t want to know?

    p.s Did I leave anyone out? Well fuck them too.

  14. Oldskewl Says:

    OC VAGO 1%er Says:

    Explain to me again why I want to go to a place of angry lynch mob residents, overpriced food & beers & hotel rooms, over aggressive cops, dickhead drunk strangers and their stupid fat ass ol ladies, asshole posers, Laffing Devils dildos, idiots that cant ride, Sons of Anarchy lookalikes & Sin Mobber fags that I don’t want to know?

    For fun? (kidding)..

    It’s like that anywhere these days.. gone are the days of old school rallies and wild parties..



  15. RVN69 Says:

    @OC VAGO 1% As has been said before, it’s not a motorcycle event, it’s a fucking circus!”

    Respect to the Green Nation


    Support your local Red & Black

  16. Vogs Says:

    What a joke!! Police cancel the event because they aren’t getting $120 g’s kickback. I really think it is to late to save this nation. We have cameras everywhere, militarized police and a judicial system that is only out for profit. Fuck them all. If we as a nation don’t wake up and stand up for our hard fought freedoms then watch as they continue to take them away. I love America but hate to see what it is becoming. Boy the “Greatest Generation” have to be shaking there heads thinking ” what the fuck did we save this nation of metrosexual, feminist, illegal alien loving fucksticks from the Germans for anyway”?! Either step up and push back or shut the fuck up and get out of the way.

  17. Brewster Says:

    It would be great to throw enormous parties in a different place every year. Organize it quietly, and get the word out through the clubs and have it materialize, seemingly out of nowhere.

    Respect to all, until they show they don’t deserve it.

  18. Austin Says:

    @Paladin re: “the io should feel safe enough…”
    LOL – Right?

  19. Tall Paul Says:

    OC Vago: You left the T-shirt vendors off your list ….

  20. Dago1%er Says:

    I guess the Booze Fighters and Wino’s Crew had an altercation at a local Chevron. Shoots were fired and an arrest was made. I’m with Vago tho and who the fuck wants to see a bunch of posers and weekend riders and spend all my money for over priced shit when I can spend it on my scoot.

  21. Rebel Says:

    Dear Dago1%er,

    I believe I will have a story on that today.


  22. slycechyx Says:

    The best part of these rallies is the people watching. I haven’t been to the big, tradition rallies, just the smaller ones here in AZ. I do go to see people I haven’t seen for a while, network with other clubs & chapters to promote my chapter’s big annual charity ride & to see what their up coming rides & events are. I do love finding a shady spot to sit awhile to watch the people walk by.

    BFMC was in an altercation? If it isn’t against protocol, can I ask here if anyone knows which chapter?

  23. Paladin Says:

    @ Austin,


    Long May You Ride,


Leave a Reply